So it is Monday morning and I would like to acknowledge the latest news and show my happiness to know that the bastard of all bastards that caused so much destruction and pain nearly 10 years ago to our great nation is finally dead!! Osama Bin Laden. I hope right now you are finally getting yours.
A HUGE thank you to the troops that have given up so much of their life for our country. You are so greatly appreciated. There are no true words to describe all that you have done for us. Thank you thank you thank you!!
Other than THAT my morning has started off shitty.
I worked all weekend, I did not sleep well last night and had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, McDonald's forgot to include my fruit and yogurt parfait this morning so I have to go without breakfast, and I am pissed as all get out in regards to The Worst Person in the World.
So since we are on the topic of bastards of all bastards:
I need to do some venting so BEWARE. I am very serious here. So skip over this blog if preferred; otherwise, MEN, listen and learn.
There are certain things that should never be said over a text: (To list a few...)
* A death announcement of a close loved one or friend
* "I am breaking up with you"
* Saying "I love you" for the first time
* I am sorry
Let's discuss this last one in regards to TWPITW. When TWPITW and I broke up it ended badly as you have already read. You also know this past weekend has consisted of some texts from TWPITW. In those texts was an "I am sorry on how things ended. I have no ill feelings towards you." At first, that apology was unacceptable, but there were things I told TWPITW that he could do to prove his sincerity. After all, he was apologizing after a substantial amount of time had passed, but I was willing to possibly accept and just let things be. However, I could not help that nagging suspicion that there must be a hidden agenda.
And... of course there was! I am not a mean person. I am a very good person. I am willing to forgive, but there needs to be some standards set in place to do so. First of all, when given the chance to apologize face to face, it should be done. This whole texting of "I am sorry I hurt you" is just a cowardly way of going about something that should, one would think, come off as SINCERE. You get no sincerity in a text. Am I wrong?
So since TWPITW had passed on going that extra mile to prove just how sorry he was I had a few questions for him. And lets admit it people that when someone f#cks up they cannot just say I am sorry and consider it done, especially when they really drug someone through the mud with their actions. Let's not forget that this was a guy who was in bed with yours truly and talking about a future, while telling another woman that he loved her. OUCH! Am I right?! So my questions were this and his answers were as follows:
1. Why did you text to say you were sorry so long after this has been over? We, at least I, had moved on with my life. Gotten over the horrible thing you did and just moved on. I never called you, texted you, emailed you, etc. I let you be and you should have respected me and done the same.
His response: I just felt bad about the way it all went down and I know you and L have been hanging out a lot lately and that just got me thinking about you. I did not want you to hate me if we ran across each other in the future. L and J think you are awesome and fun. And you are. So I feel bad.
So basically, you are not doing this out of the goodness of your heart. You just know we still have some friends in common that did not ditch me just because you suck and did some horrible thing to me. And you did not want me to ream you out if I ever saw you in public because you are such a sally. Our friends think I am awesome and now you are in second guess mode. You forget who is the adult here. And it is. not. you. I could see you in public and just walk the other way. I could see you at a party and ignore you, or if it really bothered me then I could get in my car and drive away. Life does not revolve around you, TWPITW. Sorry.
Ok... so question 2. So you, belatedly, say you are sorry. What do you want from me? You randomly send me a text and apologize for some horrible things you said and did and I am to ... what? Be happy about this? Thank you and say you are forgiven? Act like none of it hurt and left some permanent damage about how I view men who say things like "I want to show you that not all men are the same" so that I go out with them and trust them and then they go and do exactly what "all men do?" just as you have? I do not understand.
His response: "I don't know what I expected".
That's right. You did not think about anyone else. You did not think about the effect this would have on me. Someone who trusted you to be different, someone you let down, someone you did and said some horrible things to. You did not think about how this would affect me because Lord knows I could not have moved on yet could I have? Why not just waltz your ass back into my life and make me go through it all over again. For WHAT? So that YOU can feel some reprieve? Does this make you feel special? Does it make you feel important? Did your head expand another 1/4 inch knowing you could get under someone's skin like this? What kind of lying, deceiving, cocky, selfish, piece of shit bastard are you?! God help your children so that they do not turn out to be anything like you.
To all of this his finally response was:
"Sorry, T, I just wanted to apologize. I should not have bothered you."
Damn straight, TWPITW. Your apology is shit being as it is way past due and you are only doing it for selfish reasons. You know L is possibly going to be single now and you know that the two of us will be "trouble" out in public together because we are two very good looking, smart, successful, and funny women. You know you gave up something awesome for that 21 year old living abroad who is already in a committed relationship and now you are scared that someone will snag me up before you find out if plan A will for sure not work out. Your apology is worth even more shit considering the fact that you refused to take that one extra step, one time to drive to me to show me that you really did f#ck up and you want my forgiveness because you feel that bad about all this. Instead you would rather just keep me down and feeling like I am not worth a REAL apology (which I do not feel this time around but have in the past) and just send me another text basically saying "I take it all back. Sorry I bothered you with a very pathetic apology. Sorry I got you all riled up again".
There has only been one person in my life that I have truly hated. Now I have two. I hate hating people. I believe it messes with the body, mind and aura of a being, but sometimes people can wrong you so much that the easiest way to deal with it is hate them and just let them go. Hating them allows them to never enter into your life again. I have given every chance for forgiveness. I have offered up conversation and discussion. I have done all I could, but some people are too stubborn to just admit they are wrong and to take the necessary actions to amend their wrong doings. I was not asking to date again (no no no) but a sincere apology to show that even though men fuck up, they can truly feel bad about it.
Heaven help me, TWPITW, that if I ever see you again that my foot does not come flying at your groin so fast that all you know is that you are suddenly in immense pain. And if you are sitting down, you should probably stand because it will be your face feeling the blow otherwise. I could have been civil, but now I am just one pissed off woman!
For the gentlemen reading this, I would be more than willing to provide a name and picture of this man so that if you ever come across him you can give him a much earned thank you for being the topper on the cake that has made this woman completely unavailable.
Peace out. Happy Monday. Glad I got this all off my chest. Tomorrow will resume as normal.
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