But I am BACK... from New York that is.
Amazing trip. Absolutely amazing. I do not know where my love for the city ever came from. I grew up in a small suburb outside the big city and the older I became the more and more I was drawn to the hectic and crowded city life. It seems that each time I move I get a little bit closer. If only I could afford the rent to actually just live in the center of it all, but sometimes... it IS nice to go home to my quiet apartment after a busy day working downtown.
But anyways... the trip. I went with Lawyer (excellent travel companion!) and together we saw Chinatown (way better than California's), Little Italy (yummy Margharita pizza!), Ground Zero and the new building to replace the World Trade Center that is still in works: the World Financial Center in the center of Battery Park City (woah... emotional), Times Square (where our Hilton hotel was front and center to!), Rockefeller Center (on the outside anyways), the ever profound, and much better than I had honestly thought it would be, Central Park where we enjoyed some down time of lunch, napping and games. We also saw the musical Phantom of the Opera (Fantastically heartwarming and tragic. The whole musical was absolutely phenomenal! I held back my tears pretty darn well). We enjoyed some splendid dinners, one of which was upon the Bateaux New York Dinner Cruise line where Lawyer and I celebrated his fast approaching birthday and our last evening in NY. On that cruise after sunset is where I got to see the Statue of Liberty for the first time up close and personal lit up against the dark purple sky (a sight to see without a doubt). While in Manhattan we also got to enjoy shopping on 5th avenue (where I bought my "Please Return To" Tiffany and Co. charm and chain link bracelet that I have wanted for years!!) and one evening we went up to the top of the Marriott Marquis where there is The View Restaurant and Lounge that is a revolving rooftop 48 stories high and we got a great view of Manhattan and it's city lights while enjoying some fabulous cocktails.
The only fluke in NY was the "museum" that was advertised on one of NYC's websites as a must see that was a tribute to 9/11. It turned out to be a total bust. I bought tickets in advance as something for us to do on a lazy (or what we thought would be lazy) Sunday afternoon. It was literally one room the size of a large master bedroom that had chairs you sit on to watch a video and then you walk around this one room to look at pictures and artifacts hanging on the wall while listening to a headset. Really?? Just not what I was expecting and Lawyer and I were tired from all the running around we did that morning so even though we were 30 minutes late (yes.. my fault... because of my MUST HAVE Tiff & Co. bracelet) we left after about 4.6 minutes of watching the video. Instead, we went back to the hotel, took a much needed nap and then got up to get ready for our evening.
Would I go back to the Big Apple? Absolutely! Maybe not all too often, but there is so much we were unable to do that I would still like to see and experience yet. To see the progress of such a big city once every decade, if possible, would be fine by me. Especially to see the finished project for the World Financial Center!
So here is where I would like to take the time to give a special shout out to Lawyer for being a perfect travelling companion, for his undeniable generosity, for his patience (I was actually told before the trip started that I was allowed 3 hours total of "crabby time"... of which I used ZERO! But I still had some challenging moments) and his discreet sincerity when dealing with the tumultuous "T".
I now return you to your regularly scheduled life. . .
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Creepy: The Enneagram Test
Would you agree? I certainly do. I just had to share.
I am:
6 - the Questioner
you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX (aka "The Loyalist").
"I am affectionate and skeptical"
Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.
How to Get Along with Me (Each and every point is SO TRUE in regards to me!!!)
• Be direct and clear. (Yes!!)
• Listen to me carefully.
• Don't judge me for my anxiety.
• Work things through with me.
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us. (Absolute MUST)
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Gently push me toward new experiences.
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.
What I Like About Being a SIX
• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist (100%)
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive (One of the few things I do enjoy about myself)
What's Hard About Being a SIX
• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of (Hel-lo!)
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations (!!!!)
SIXes as Children Often
• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn (Pretty sure I was the latter...)
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent
SIXes as Parents (Can't wait to find out!!)
• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.
Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Hello Clarice . . .
Happy Birthday to My Roomie whom I have had the pleasure of knowing for 11 years now! :D
What a week thus far... and it is only TUESDAY!
Monday was an insane day for me. I had a lot of catching up to do at work from the previous week and then about 2 hours prior to (and only 45 minutes to prepare for) I got notice that I was going to be doing a presentation on training for a new program we are running at work! It WOULD have been cool if I had had the time to train thoroughly on it myself. No such luck. I got about a 20 minute quick overview on it and was told I would do 'just fine'. "Wing it". WRONG. I made a total mumbling ass out of myself and thankfully my boss was there to swoop in with the safety net and save me from drowning. That. Sucked. I hate doing a poor job at work. I just have not had the downtime to study the new material. What a disappointment and a let down. Not so much for my boss, but mostly for ME. Happy Monday.
After that it was just rush, rush, rush to catch up on all my work so that I wouldn't have to leave anything undone when I leave for New York to show them who's going to run their town that WEEKEND. WOO HOO!
Ok, back on track, I had my MRI done last night. The best part about the 1 hour and 41 minute ordeal was the hottie that got to talk to me through my headphones after trapping me inside my headcage like Hannible Lecter. I felt hot. Not going to lie. It could have been the warm blanket he threw over me... or my super sensitive hormones giving me hot flashes pre-menopause style. I even had the pleasure of Mr. MRI touching my arm... while he shot me up with 'contrast' that gave me an interesting taste in my mouth and odd smell in my nose. At least I did not experience the 'warm-like-you-were-crapping-your-pants' feeling that an acquaintance of mine embarrassingly had to experience!
Upon completion I treated myself to the mall across the way to pick up a few items: make-up from my favorite counter (MAC) for my trip, handsoap from Bath & Body since that is all I will allow in my bathroom, and of course, my free pair of pink checkered hip hugger undies from Victoria's Secret. I honestly can't remember the last time I paid for a pair of underwear from there. The darn things should be free after what I pay for a bra. After that I was starving (hey! it had been like... 6.5 hours since I last ate! Huge deal for me!) So I went and got myself some gelato. But I behaved... even though I got the big dish... I got half of that as non-dairy acai berry sorbet. Yummmmmmm (and healthy... kind of).
Today was another busy day. Another training meeting (this time I wasn't in the running for speaking, but I need to get my butt up to gear ASAP). Heeellllloooooo Clinic Manager! {wink, wink... how you doin'??}. Upon my return to the office, I was quite angered to learn that a co-worker left abruptly while my boss and I were gone. All I know is this: 1. We were down a co-worker as it was. 2. Could she have not waited until I got back from the training so that the other co-worker working was not left alone on a very busy Tuesday?! 3. It was said that this particular co-worker left because she was not 'feeling well' (which may have been true?) but I also heard there were some issues over a chair.... and she seemed 'upset'? I think the chair thing is something brought on by a miscommunication. But whatever. Either way, I was still catching up on work from last week, we were now down two co-workers all day, and now we had the work of four to do. Bah.
The good news is: I am going to my sister's salon today to treat myself to a manicure and pedicure (she offers great service at an amazing price, people, not to mention available last minute like today! Though I woulnd't suggest doing it allll the time...!). Both are loooooong overdue and much needed. If I did not pamper my toes soon they were going to look like those in the anti-fungal commercials. I just thought I would spare New Yorkers... and, more importantly, Lawyer... the view of my geographical main attraction brought on by running shoes and winter hibernation.
As far as I am aware, no work at the catering job this week! While I really want... correction: need... the money, I am also happy to be able to finally catch up on some things. Tonight will consist of laundry, a thorough cleaning of the litter boxes (awe-some), and maybe some sort of work out (if said workout will not ruin said pedicure), ironing, and whatever the else needs to be done because tomorrow I want to leave open solely for packing. Yes, it is that important and takes me that long. I don't like to rush, but we all know this already now don't we??
What a week thus far... and it is only TUESDAY!
Monday was an insane day for me. I had a lot of catching up to do at work from the previous week and then about 2 hours prior to (and only 45 minutes to prepare for) I got notice that I was going to be doing a presentation on training for a new program we are running at work! It WOULD have been cool if I had had the time to train thoroughly on it myself. No such luck. I got about a 20 minute quick overview on it and was told I would do 'just fine'. "Wing it". WRONG. I made a total mumbling ass out of myself and thankfully my boss was there to swoop in with the safety net and save me from drowning. That. Sucked. I hate doing a poor job at work. I just have not had the downtime to study the new material. What a disappointment and a let down. Not so much for my boss, but mostly for ME. Happy Monday.
After that it was just rush, rush, rush to catch up on all my work so that I wouldn't have to leave anything undone when I leave for New York to show them who's going to run their town that WEEKEND. WOO HOO!
Ok, back on track, I had my MRI done last night. The best part about the 1 hour and 41 minute ordeal was the hottie that got to talk to me through my headphones after trapping me inside my headcage like Hannible Lecter. I felt hot. Not going to lie. It could have been the warm blanket he threw over me... or my super sensitive hormones giving me hot flashes pre-menopause style. I even had the pleasure of Mr. MRI touching my arm... while he shot me up with 'contrast' that gave me an interesting taste in my mouth and odd smell in my nose. At least I did not experience the 'warm-like-you-were-crapping-your-pants' feeling that an acquaintance of mine embarrassingly had to experience!
Upon completion I treated myself to the mall across the way to pick up a few items: make-up from my favorite counter (MAC) for my trip, handsoap from Bath & Body since that is all I will allow in my bathroom, and of course, my free pair of pink checkered hip hugger undies from Victoria's Secret. I honestly can't remember the last time I paid for a pair of underwear from there. The darn things should be free after what I pay for a bra. After that I was starving (hey! it had been like... 6.5 hours since I last ate! Huge deal for me!) So I went and got myself some gelato. But I behaved... even though I got the big dish... I got half of that as non-dairy acai berry sorbet. Yummmmmmm (and healthy... kind of).
Today was another busy day. Another training meeting (this time I wasn't in the running for speaking, but I need to get my butt up to gear ASAP). Heeellllloooooo Clinic Manager! {wink, wink... how you doin'??}. Upon my return to the office, I was quite angered to learn that a co-worker left abruptly while my boss and I were gone. All I know is this: 1. We were down a co-worker as it was. 2. Could she have not waited until I got back from the training so that the other co-worker working was not left alone on a very busy Tuesday?! 3. It was said that this particular co-worker left because she was not 'feeling well' (which may have been true?) but I also heard there were some issues over a chair.... and she seemed 'upset'? I think the chair thing is something brought on by a miscommunication. But whatever. Either way, I was still catching up on work from last week, we were now down two co-workers all day, and now we had the work of four to do. Bah.
The good news is: I am going to my sister's salon today to treat myself to a manicure and pedicure (she offers great service at an amazing price, people, not to mention available last minute like today! Though I woulnd't suggest doing it allll the time...!). Both are loooooong overdue and much needed. If I did not pamper my toes soon they were going to look like those in the anti-fungal commercials. I just thought I would spare New Yorkers... and, more importantly, Lawyer... the view of my geographical main attraction brought on by running shoes and winter hibernation.
As far as I am aware, no work at the catering job this week! While I really want... correction: need... the money, I am also happy to be able to finally catch up on some things. Tonight will consist of laundry, a thorough cleaning of the litter boxes (awe-some), and maybe some sort of work out (if said workout will not ruin said pedicure), ironing, and whatever the else needs to be done because tomorrow I want to leave open solely for packing. Yes, it is that important and takes me that long. I don't like to rush, but we all know this already now don't we??
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Always an Auntie, Never a Mommy
You read it right! I am going to be an aunt again! It will either be my 7th niece or 5th nephew! The biggest surprise is who is pregnant and will be having this newborn ball of energy in approx 8 months time and it is not my 33 year old sister or either of my brothers. It is actually going to be my 41 year old sister!! I cannot believe it. She just told the family today while we were celebrating her two younger boys' birthdays! One just turned 15 and the other 11! I won't lie... we all thought she was kidding. What a shock! But what a wonderful surprise! :) I always felt deep down that even though after 3 boys she said she and her husband would no longer have any other children or try for "that girl"... I never truly felt she was done. Although this little bundle of joy was not exactly planned, he/she will be excitedly welcomed into the family! We all cannot wait!
When God has a plan... He REALLY has a plan!! Apparently mine is: You suck so get a hint, quit trying and go into a nunnery.
In another news: I almost had a heart attack about 2 minutes ago. Bad thunder storm raging outside my windows. Such a shame considering earlier in the day it was mid 80's and sunny. Damn. All my life I used to get excited about big storms. I absolutely loved them. But being home alone... in an apartment... on the second floor. Just not so awesome anymore! The fact that the last boomer just set off a car alarm is now thoroughly creeping me out. It's sad when you shoebox bathroom is your best refuge away from windows and the loudness of the raging storm. So yes, in case you need that visual, I am currently sitting on my closed toilet seat lid waiting for the storm to calm down and my heart rate to return to normal. Turns out singledom always has more surprises up its sleeve the longer it remains your companion.
I wanted to get a run in after I ran some errands after the birthday party.. but the rain hint. Son of a.... Now I feel like total lazy ass!!!
Thus far this weekend has been fairly low key and I don't have anything new to really report.
Love life: Same/MIA. Financial situation (even though I have a second job): Worse. Health: Worse. Mental mentality: Bitter.
I am happy I had off this weekend, but part of me wishes I had worked too because I did not really do anything worthwhile besides Friday where I got to meet up with Lawyer for Happy Hour and discuss my impending trip to Manhattan. I cannot wait. We have an amazing line up of activity, all of which you will hear more about upon my return.
I have a crazy work week ahead of me. A LOT of catching up to do and only two girls answering the phone... before a holiday... this is going to S.U.C.K. Thankfully it is a short week. Last time I checked, I was not working at the catering co. this week either. I would not have minded one day (Tuesday preferably), but no go. Oh well.. I need to run about 15 miles this week anyways so that I hopefully look like I own dresses that fit me and I didn't borrow them from my skinny roommate!
I guess that's about it for now. Sundays are always my worst for those of you who know me best. I may have even mentioned that already?
Oh wait... forgot to mention that Time Warner hit me up again this weekend. Not only did he text me numerous times on Friday night between 2:15 and 2:45am, but he also called me to tell me he wanted to apologize about the last time we saw each other. Yup, nope.. did not care. Said very little... said he should call me when he wasn't drunk so this his 'apology' might actually appear genuine... to which he responded "I don't have the balls to call you when I am sober". You mean... you don't have balls at all. Dickhead. I promptly hung up. A few more texts and another call at 3:45am, Time Warner wants to know why I won't talk to him. I have nothing to say. Stupid is and Stupid does. And I am not stupid. I said my "good night" promptly followed by my hitting of the red 'END' button on my iPhone. Peace out Time Warner. You lost someone that could have been wonderful for and to you.
Oh look... it is time to go take my Zoloft.
When God has a plan... He REALLY has a plan!! Apparently mine is: You suck so get a hint, quit trying and go into a nunnery.
In another news: I almost had a heart attack about 2 minutes ago. Bad thunder storm raging outside my windows. Such a shame considering earlier in the day it was mid 80's and sunny. Damn. All my life I used to get excited about big storms. I absolutely loved them. But being home alone... in an apartment... on the second floor. Just not so awesome anymore! The fact that the last boomer just set off a car alarm is now thoroughly creeping me out. It's sad when you shoebox bathroom is your best refuge away from windows and the loudness of the raging storm. So yes, in case you need that visual, I am currently sitting on my closed toilet seat lid waiting for the storm to calm down and my heart rate to return to normal. Turns out singledom always has more surprises up its sleeve the longer it remains your companion.
I wanted to get a run in after I ran some errands after the birthday party.. but the rain hint. Son of a.... Now I feel like total lazy ass!!!
Thus far this weekend has been fairly low key and I don't have anything new to really report.
Love life: Same/MIA. Financial situation (even though I have a second job): Worse. Health: Worse. Mental mentality: Bitter.
I am happy I had off this weekend, but part of me wishes I had worked too because I did not really do anything worthwhile besides Friday where I got to meet up with Lawyer for Happy Hour and discuss my impending trip to Manhattan. I cannot wait. We have an amazing line up of activity, all of which you will hear more about upon my return.
I have a crazy work week ahead of me. A LOT of catching up to do and only two girls answering the phone... before a holiday... this is going to S.U.C.K. Thankfully it is a short week. Last time I checked, I was not working at the catering co. this week either. I would not have minded one day (Tuesday preferably), but no go. Oh well.. I need to run about 15 miles this week anyways so that I hopefully look like I own dresses that fit me and I didn't borrow them from my skinny roommate!
I guess that's about it for now. Sundays are always my worst for those of you who know me best. I may have even mentioned that already?
Oh wait... forgot to mention that Time Warner hit me up again this weekend. Not only did he text me numerous times on Friday night between 2:15 and 2:45am, but he also called me to tell me he wanted to apologize about the last time we saw each other. Yup, nope.. did not care. Said very little... said he should call me when he wasn't drunk so this his 'apology' might actually appear genuine... to which he responded "I don't have the balls to call you when I am sober". You mean... you don't have balls at all. Dickhead. I promptly hung up. A few more texts and another call at 3:45am, Time Warner wants to know why I won't talk to him. I have nothing to say. Stupid is and Stupid does. And I am not stupid. I said my "good night" promptly followed by my hitting of the red 'END' button on my iPhone. Peace out Time Warner. You lost someone that could have been wonderful for and to you.
Oh look... it is time to go take my Zoloft.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Ode to a Spoiled Brat
I tried to blog yesterday, but blogspot seemed to know that I did not have the time and just would not allow it.
My apologies for the lack of posting the past few days. I have been crazy busy with work, chores, doc appointments and a mild social life whenever possible. I am tired and have had a very busy work week. You will get more attention soon, but to tied you over until then:
I have a poem I would like to share about a girl I met for the first time on Tuesday that must be a returning summer hire at the catering group I work for:
Ode to a Spoiled Brat
Your name starts with a C
but what a bitch you can be
You're a spoiled little brat
there is no doubt about that
You were asked to do work
instead of daydream
I believe your response was
"Fine, I'll take one for the team"
Almost legal to drink
One would still think
You'd have some sense of pride
But you simply prefer the ride
There was a topper that night
and I was ready to fight
When cleaning a plate
you dropped a spoon in the crate
of ice, beer and wine
You stated "that was not mine"
"There is no way I am
putting my hand in that"
As if it were some
sort of puke or poop vat
You flirted and gossiped all night
It was a pa-the-tic sight
May God help the man
as only He can
to see past your frills
and run for the hills
I would like to give a special shout out to my parents for keeping the spoiling under wraps because the thought of having turned out like that makes me cringe. I have my moments, but this girl.... she was something else.
Side note: Don't use AT&T. They suck. Their billing sucks, their policies suck, and their customer service sucks. I would like AT&T to know that for the next 5 years you will be receiving $5.00/mo... $10 if I am having a good day... to pay off my cancellation fee and outstanding bill for your shitty service. Thankyoucomeagain.
My apologies for the lack of posting the past few days. I have been crazy busy with work, chores, doc appointments and a mild social life whenever possible. I am tired and have had a very busy work week. You will get more attention soon, but to tied you over until then:
I have a poem I would like to share about a girl I met for the first time on Tuesday that must be a returning summer hire at the catering group I work for:
Ode to a Spoiled Brat
Your name starts with a C
but what a bitch you can be
You're a spoiled little brat
there is no doubt about that
You were asked to do work
instead of daydream
I believe your response was
"Fine, I'll take one for the team"
Almost legal to drink
One would still think
You'd have some sense of pride
But you simply prefer the ride
There was a topper that night
and I was ready to fight
When cleaning a plate
you dropped a spoon in the crate
of ice, beer and wine
You stated "that was not mine"
"There is no way I am
putting my hand in that"
As if it were some
sort of puke or poop vat
You flirted and gossiped all night
It was a pa-the-tic sight
May God help the man
as only He can
to see past your frills
and run for the hills
I would like to give a special shout out to my parents for keeping the spoiling under wraps because the thought of having turned out like that makes me cringe. I have my moments, but this girl.... she was something else.
Side note: Don't use AT&T. They suck. Their billing sucks, their policies suck, and their customer service sucks. I would like AT&T to know that for the next 5 years you will be receiving $5.00/mo... $10 if I am having a good day... to pay off my cancellation fee and outstanding bill for your shitty service. Thankyoucomeagain.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Today is Brought to You by the Letter E
It has been an up and down kind of weekend. Not working at the catering company has been nice, but considering the weather and my mood I feel as though working may have been more beneficial.
Friday afternoon I lost a good friend. Not to death, but to matter of opinion. I have always been the type of person that lays my thoughts and feelings out on the table. I do not like to sugar coat things and therefore I gave my opinion about a on-going volatile 'relationship' that a good friend was in. Needless to say she was not too happy and has decided not to speak to me anymore. I understand. I simply could not hurt because she was hurt anymore. So her bad 'relationship' was turning our friendship sour and I could have faked it and told her it would all be ok, that after 5 years this person would miraculously change and they would be happy or I could tell her what I did which was: I can't hurt watching you hurt anymore. You repeatedly put yourself in that situation and then wonder why you are not happy. I am sorry and wish her the best.
Friday's Brewers game was very fun. Amazing seats and great company, even with TWPITW there. We talked about some things and have now come to a mutual ground. I do not think he is a person I could ever trust again, nor is he a person that thinks of anyone other than himself, but at least our friends don't have to walk on hot coals if we end up being in a room together! It was both nice and damaging to see him. A lot of mixed feelings there. One word with that whole situation: Frustration. I wish Houston could have been in attendance, but through recent conversations I see that he just wants nothing to do with me anymore either. I understand that too. Between Houston and my bad 'relationship' friend, I often think about that saying, the one where it is said that God puts people in your life when you need them most, but then takes them away when they are no longer needed. I just wish the hurt over it all could come and go as easily too!
Saturday morning was great. Got to get some sleep and then it was time for the spa with my two older sisters. I had a body wrap done. It was all right, but nothing like the one I had when I was in Jamaica. But my facial was wonderful! I wish I had just added on more time to my facial. Next time ;) We also got to do a little shopping. I got an adorable dress for work and summer at a great great price! Woo hoo! Then it was on to my nephew's 5th birthday party. And that is where things took a little bit of a turn for me.
There are things in life that are so confusing and contradictory. For me, it is my family. While I am so grateful for my brothers and sisters, my parents, my neices and nephews... I am also saddened at how little I measure up. To watch my family be with their new families is very hard. Again, it is simple jealousy almost over wanting something so badly and having it out of my reach. It is moments like that that I am so overwhelmed with a million different feelings. Feelings of joy that I am a part of this, feelings of saddness that I have come alone and will go home alone, feelings of wanting to stay and be there, but also feelings of needing to leave and just start a life separate from all this. The older I get the harder these get togethers become. I hate it.
So I broke my candy rule. I am weak and when I got home I just HAD to have that comfort of 3 dark mini peanut butter cups. Yum. But I am going to try to get back on track again.
I was supposed to go out last night, but just did not have the energy neither mentally nor physically. So instead I bailed on L and I went to bed at 9 pm. Woke up quite a few times. Once was to a text from Time Warner!! It was about one something in the morning and it simply stated: "I'm sure you're sleeping but I hope everything is going well for you". Umm.. really?! Let's translate this "Are you still up? Are you mad at me because I was wondering if you maybe want to help me out with something...". The last time I saw Time Warner (I believe I blogged about?) but he convinced me to see him and told me he wanted to see if things would work but it was all a lie. Why not just leave a girl alone if you know she wants something so different than you want. My response "thanks, you too". No need to keep that conversation going. *sigh* Unreal.
So today it my contemplative day. I hate Sundays with a passion. I have a few things I need to take care of: laundry, clean the bathroom, do some grocery shopping, maybe get a small workout in, thinking of taking an afternoon to myself and going to see a movie. A friend of mine that I have not seen in a while may be stopping over. She works this afternoon and then was going to stop over later, but I am unsure if that is still the plan. I am also still deciding if I should stay in my current apartment and make the move out of state that I have been talking about so much over the last few years. It is a very hard decision to make. I want to stay, but do not find that I have anything worth staying for, so maybe I should go and try a new adventure.
Decisions, decisions.
So that was my weekend, nothing great. In one word I would sum it up with: Emotional.
Friday afternoon I lost a good friend. Not to death, but to matter of opinion. I have always been the type of person that lays my thoughts and feelings out on the table. I do not like to sugar coat things and therefore I gave my opinion about a on-going volatile 'relationship' that a good friend was in. Needless to say she was not too happy and has decided not to speak to me anymore. I understand. I simply could not hurt because she was hurt anymore. So her bad 'relationship' was turning our friendship sour and I could have faked it and told her it would all be ok, that after 5 years this person would miraculously change and they would be happy or I could tell her what I did which was: I can't hurt watching you hurt anymore. You repeatedly put yourself in that situation and then wonder why you are not happy. I am sorry and wish her the best.
Friday's Brewers game was very fun. Amazing seats and great company, even with TWPITW there. We talked about some things and have now come to a mutual ground. I do not think he is a person I could ever trust again, nor is he a person that thinks of anyone other than himself, but at least our friends don't have to walk on hot coals if we end up being in a room together! It was both nice and damaging to see him. A lot of mixed feelings there. One word with that whole situation: Frustration. I wish Houston could have been in attendance, but through recent conversations I see that he just wants nothing to do with me anymore either. I understand that too. Between Houston and my bad 'relationship' friend, I often think about that saying, the one where it is said that God puts people in your life when you need them most, but then takes them away when they are no longer needed. I just wish the hurt over it all could come and go as easily too!
Saturday morning was great. Got to get some sleep and then it was time for the spa with my two older sisters. I had a body wrap done. It was all right, but nothing like the one I had when I was in Jamaica. But my facial was wonderful! I wish I had just added on more time to my facial. Next time ;) We also got to do a little shopping. I got an adorable dress for work and summer at a great great price! Woo hoo! Then it was on to my nephew's 5th birthday party. And that is where things took a little bit of a turn for me.
There are things in life that are so confusing and contradictory. For me, it is my family. While I am so grateful for my brothers and sisters, my parents, my neices and nephews... I am also saddened at how little I measure up. To watch my family be with their new families is very hard. Again, it is simple jealousy almost over wanting something so badly and having it out of my reach. It is moments like that that I am so overwhelmed with a million different feelings. Feelings of joy that I am a part of this, feelings of saddness that I have come alone and will go home alone, feelings of wanting to stay and be there, but also feelings of needing to leave and just start a life separate from all this. The older I get the harder these get togethers become. I hate it.
So I broke my candy rule. I am weak and when I got home I just HAD to have that comfort of 3 dark mini peanut butter cups. Yum. But I am going to try to get back on track again.
I was supposed to go out last night, but just did not have the energy neither mentally nor physically. So instead I bailed on L and I went to bed at 9 pm. Woke up quite a few times. Once was to a text from Time Warner!! It was about one something in the morning and it simply stated: "I'm sure you're sleeping but I hope everything is going well for you". Umm.. really?! Let's translate this "Are you still up? Are you mad at me because I was wondering if you maybe want to help me out with something...". The last time I saw Time Warner (I believe I blogged about?) but he convinced me to see him and told me he wanted to see if things would work but it was all a lie. Why not just leave a girl alone if you know she wants something so different than you want. My response "thanks, you too". No need to keep that conversation going. *sigh* Unreal.
So today it my contemplative day. I hate Sundays with a passion. I have a few things I need to take care of: laundry, clean the bathroom, do some grocery shopping, maybe get a small workout in, thinking of taking an afternoon to myself and going to see a movie. A friend of mine that I have not seen in a while may be stopping over. She works this afternoon and then was going to stop over later, but I am unsure if that is still the plan. I am also still deciding if I should stay in my current apartment and make the move out of state that I have been talking about so much over the last few years. It is a very hard decision to make. I want to stay, but do not find that I have anything worth staying for, so maybe I should go and try a new adventure.
Decisions, decisions.
So that was my weekend, nothing great. In one word I would sum it up with: Emotional.
Friday, May 13, 2011
They're going There in the Their pimped out hooptie
Hooray it is Friday! And I am a poet and did not even know it!
Ok, that was lame. Give me a break. I am a little sleepy. I worked my 15 hour day yesterday on only 4.5-5 hours of sleep. I would say I am doing pretty darn good.
I am pissed at Blogspot. It seems to be having some issues with its site today and deleted one of my posts... actually two of my recent posts. Dammit.
So yesterday at the catering company there was a HUGE event. Put it this way, there needed to be three of us working on one dessert table alone to keep it stocked and looking pretty. That is insane. I got to work more in back yesterday versus clearing tables. I love working in the back of the house (catering lingo for behind the curtains and out of sight). I got to help prepare some of the desserts for serving. I like all that nit picky stuff where I have a moment to calm down and be by myself focusing on my work. But after about the third hour of work I was ready to go home and get to bed. The good news was that I was supposed to be working with the 'B' manager yesterday, but instead got to work with an awesome one instead! Woo hoo!! Unsure how I won that lottery. In all honesty though, I did not realize quite how lucky I was until another of the new associates (whom I enjoy working with) came over by me crying. Apparently 'B' took a bite out of this innocent, hard working victim. Shark week?! I guess I do not know considering she looks pregnant, but I do not see a wedding ring... not that that matters now a days (at least according to my roomie...). I do not understand the irony of someone being downright horrible to other employees while at the same time telling them to 'smile big and be happy and welcoming' to the patrons. Really?! Sometimes I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone, or I suppose it is just a case of "do as I say, not as I do".
I barely made it home and into bed. My feet were absolutely killing me and getting into the shower to scrub away the sweat of a long day was quite literally painful.
Today I am super excited to be hitting up my first Brewer's game of the year. Too bad the weather does not feel the need to co-operate. Bastard. But regardless, I am not working and looking forward to drinking some beer, sitting on my rump and enjoying my friends. However, there is a twist to all this (of course there is 'T'!). Don't ask, but TWPITW (besides yours truly) will be in attendance at this game and in my group. I will let you know how that situation goes. Hey, it is all about keeping things interesting. Am I wrong?! Don't answer that.
On other fronts: Since deciding to put a hold on dating I have taken myself off one of the two dating sites I was/am on. I kept myself on the other site for the sheer fun of the games, personality tests, etc that I get to play with when I am bored, but I no longer answer to 'winks' or messages. But anywho, every now and then you get this World Map of Your Matches. Here were my most recent results (as if I ever needed confirmation that I need to get the hell out of WI so that I can actually find a mate. What I found most interesting was that one place I have considered for the move is actually on the list of best places for me!):
Which looks like this:
Best Male Matches by State:
Your Worst States:
Oregon 55.5
Washington 57.2
California 57.7
Vermont 58.0
Massachusettes 58.1
Your Best States:
Mississippe 64.7
South Carolina: 63.7
North Dakota 63.4
Alabama 62.7
Arkansas 62.4
Your Best Matches by Country:
Your Worst Countries:
United Kingdom 51.6
United States 55.1
Canada 55.6
Ireland 55.6
Austria 56.5
Your Best Countries:
Jamaica 70.1
United Arab Emirates 67.4
Singapore 67.4
Philippines 67.3
Saudi Arabia 66.7
Hmm... I feel these stats may be a little off?? I mean, I could have told you personally that theU.S. Jamaica SAUDI ARABIA U.K. , the U.S. , and Canada
And in other interesting news: In case you did not already know, I am been deemed a Genius. I have the test to prove it! At least in the literary sense of the word... My proof:
Spank you very much!
Enjoy your Friday friends!
Ok, that was lame. Give me a break. I am a little sleepy. I worked my 15 hour day yesterday on only 4.5-5 hours of sleep. I would say I am doing pretty darn good.
I am pissed at Blogspot. It seems to be having some issues with its site today and deleted one of my posts... actually two of my recent posts. Dammit.
So yesterday at the catering company there was a HUGE event. Put it this way, there needed to be three of us working on one dessert table alone to keep it stocked and looking pretty. That is insane. I got to work more in back yesterday versus clearing tables. I love working in the back of the house (catering lingo for behind the curtains and out of sight). I got to help prepare some of the desserts for serving. I like all that nit picky stuff where I have a moment to calm down and be by myself focusing on my work. But after about the third hour of work I was ready to go home and get to bed. The good news was that I was supposed to be working with the 'B' manager yesterday, but instead got to work with an awesome one instead! Woo hoo!! Unsure how I won that lottery. In all honesty though, I did not realize quite how lucky I was until another of the new associates (whom I enjoy working with) came over by me crying. Apparently 'B' took a bite out of this innocent, hard working victim. Shark week?! I guess I do not know considering she looks pregnant, but I do not see a wedding ring... not that that matters now a days (at least according to my roomie...). I do not understand the irony of someone being downright horrible to other employees while at the same time telling them to 'smile big and be happy and welcoming' to the patrons. Really?! Sometimes I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone, or I suppose it is just a case of "do as I say, not as I do".
I barely made it home and into bed. My feet were absolutely killing me and getting into the shower to scrub away the sweat of a long day was quite literally painful.
Today I am super excited to be hitting up my first Brewer's game of the year. Too bad the weather does not feel the need to co-operate. Bastard. But regardless, I am not working and looking forward to drinking some beer, sitting on my rump and enjoying my friends. However, there is a twist to all this (of course there is 'T'!). Don't ask, but TWPITW (besides yours truly) will be in attendance at this game and in my group. I will let you know how that situation goes. Hey, it is all about keeping things interesting. Am I wrong?! Don't answer that.
On other fronts: Since deciding to put a hold on dating I have taken myself off one of the two dating sites I was/am on. I kept myself on the other site for the sheer fun of the games, personality tests, etc that I get to play with when I am bored, but I no longer answer to 'winks' or messages. But anywho, every now and then you get this World Map of Your Matches. Here were my most recent results (as if I ever needed confirmation that I need to get the hell out of WI so that I can actually find a mate. What I found most interesting was that one place I have considered for the move is actually on the list of best places for me!):
Which looks like this:
Best Male Matches by State:
Your Worst States:
Oregon 55.5
Washington 57.2
California 57.7
Vermont 58.0
Massachusettes 58.1
Your Best States:
Mississippe 64.7
South Carolina: 63.7
North Dakota 63.4
Alabama 62.7
Arkansas 62.4
Your Best Matches by Country:
Your Worst Countries:
United Kingdom 51.6
United States 55.1
Canada 55.6
Ireland 55.6
Austria 56.5
Your Best Countries:
Jamaica 70.1
United Arab Emirates 67.4
Singapore 67.4
Philippines 67.3
Saudi Arabia 66.7
Hmm... I feel these stats may be a little off?? I mean, I could have told you personally that the
And in other interesting news: In case you did not already know, I am been deemed a Genius. I have the test to prove it! At least in the literary sense of the word... My proof:
English Genius
You scored 100%!
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!
Spank you very much!
Enjoy your Friday friends!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
B*tch!
Not much to report today.
Still have not returned and purchased a new Brita water bottle. Who knows when that is going to happen.
Last night I worked at the museum again. I was exhausted and of course because I have laryngitis I was put on the floor to direct people. Ugh. But I made it through. I am getting to know more of the employees better which is so nice. For the most part, there are many that I enjoy working with. However, there is one particular manager that is a bit of a 'B' so I just try to steer clear of her whenever possible. Two cute boys thus far. Both sweethearts and fun to joke around with. Both quite shy so I just have to get them to come out of their shells. I have no idea what their stories are nor do I care. I am just enjoying the view {wink wink}.
Broken dishes to date: 1 coffee mug and 1 beer bottle. Oops. Trying to do too many things at once!
So today I am in a hot and cold mood. I think it may be lack of sleep and frustration from certain people. People that feel the need to pose in yoga positions... in a bathing suit... on a beach. Or people that think they are just sooooo awesome that they need to update you on their facebook status every 15 minutes: Slept great. Going to the gym. Eating a healthy salad. Told I have a great ass. Cooked my wonderful husband dinner. Kissed my two sweet kids good night. Going to sleep in my canopy bed inside my large palace. Are you kidding me? Or people that can't make up their minds about important things. Or people that think they are God's gift and that the things they say or do are not affecting other people in very detrimental ways. Or people that like to bitch about other people because they are in a bitchy ass mood.
So to make myself feel better and calm down and climb back up from the depths of self-pitying hell, I bought a yummy Brueger's skinny bagel sandwich and some flowers from Whole Foods for my office. I rock. I am not going to let lame people ruin my day, myself included.
I have on one of my favorite dresses, curled my hair, wore my highest heels and am going to enjoy a fantastic dinner with Lawyer at one of my fave restaurants and have that glass of wine that I have been dying for for far too long.
So life is good, T. Now quit your bitching.
Still have not returned and purchased a new Brita water bottle. Who knows when that is going to happen.
Last night I worked at the museum again. I was exhausted and of course because I have laryngitis I was put on the floor to direct people. Ugh. But I made it through. I am getting to know more of the employees better which is so nice. For the most part, there are many that I enjoy working with. However, there is one particular manager that is a bit of a 'B' so I just try to steer clear of her whenever possible. Two cute boys thus far. Both sweethearts and fun to joke around with. Both quite shy so I just have to get them to come out of their shells. I have no idea what their stories are nor do I care. I am just enjoying the view {wink wink}.
Broken dishes to date: 1 coffee mug and 1 beer bottle. Oops. Trying to do too many things at once!
So today I am in a hot and cold mood. I think it may be lack of sleep and frustration from certain people. People that feel the need to pose in yoga positions... in a bathing suit... on a beach. Or people that think they are just sooooo awesome that they need to update you on their facebook status every 15 minutes: Slept great. Going to the gym. Eating a healthy salad. Told I have a great ass. Cooked my wonderful husband dinner. Kissed my two sweet kids good night. Going to sleep in my canopy bed inside my large palace. Are you kidding me? Or people that can't make up their minds about important things. Or people that think they are God's gift and that the things they say or do are not affecting other people in very detrimental ways. Or people that like to bitch about other people because they are in a bitchy ass mood.
So to make myself feel better and calm down and climb back up from the depths of self-pitying hell, I bought a yummy Brueger's skinny bagel sandwich and some flowers from Whole Foods for my office. I rock. I am not going to let lame people ruin my day, myself included.
I have on one of my favorite dresses, curled my hair, wore my highest heels and am going to enjoy a fantastic dinner with Lawyer at one of my fave restaurants and have that glass of wine that I have been dying for for far too long.
So life is good, T. Now quit your bitching.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Worst Person in the World Now Equals ME
I hate that when I try to do something nice it just seems to most often go wrong. Not to mention that this only confirms why I hate making plans in advance.
Here is a very brief recount: About a month and a half ago I met someone amazing. He has been through a lot in his life and I wanted to be there for him. Take him out and make him smile and feel great after all that he has been through. He is an amazing man who has gone through more than anyone I know. I wanted to be the friend that would not ditch him like so many others. So a few weeks ago I surprised him with some tickets to a Brewer's game which he has not been able to enjoy in years years years. Well, thanks to my I-can't-help-it-honesty, a discussion was had and things got all messed up and now that gift has basically been found useless. I wish life could be easy and I wish no one had to suffer. I wish I could just lie when I really need to. But, alas, this is life. So I would like to publicly extend my sincere apologies and well wishes to Houston. There is nothing I can say that could ever make things better. I am sorry that it all went to hell.
I feel like the worst person in the world.
This whole week has continued to be downhill, however:
One of my prayers has been answered! While shopping through Target to pick up an Rx to help deal with my tremors, I found that Brita has a filtered water bottle! Woo hoo! So of course I picked it up for the $9.99 it cost. I brought it to work with me today. Super excited. But upon washing and filling it with icky tap water, I come to find that I got a bum filter. Dammit. Now I have to go through the hassle of finding my receipt and taking it back... when I have the time.
My voice is still trying to make an appearance, but remains raspy and squeaky.
I feel like a turd for the Brewer's game getting all f'ed up this Friday, but am trying my best to still make it work. They were special seats so it's all screwy now, but I do not want my two friends that were coming with to suffer because of some issues between Houston and I.
I have not been sleeping because I have too much on the brain, although the 20 minute run I got in last night helped. There is just something about the fresh, night air. I wish they did evening marathons. I would be all for that.
I am all over the place. I have too much on my plate right now. Meeting for work soon and then work this evening for the catering co.
Not to mention, I am still feeling like the worst person in the world. :(
More updates tomorrow.
Thanks for listening!
Here is a very brief recount: About a month and a half ago I met someone amazing. He has been through a lot in his life and I wanted to be there for him. Take him out and make him smile and feel great after all that he has been through. He is an amazing man who has gone through more than anyone I know. I wanted to be the friend that would not ditch him like so many others. So a few weeks ago I surprised him with some tickets to a Brewer's game which he has not been able to enjoy in years years years. Well, thanks to my I-can't-help-it-honesty, a discussion was had and things got all messed up and now that gift has basically been found useless. I wish life could be easy and I wish no one had to suffer. I wish I could just lie when I really need to. But, alas, this is life. So I would like to publicly extend my sincere apologies and well wishes to Houston. There is nothing I can say that could ever make things better. I am sorry that it all went to hell.
I feel like the worst person in the world.
This whole week has continued to be downhill, however:
One of my prayers has been answered! While shopping through Target to pick up an Rx to help deal with my tremors, I found that Brita has a filtered water bottle! Woo hoo! So of course I picked it up for the $9.99 it cost. I brought it to work with me today. Super excited. But upon washing and filling it with icky tap water, I come to find that I got a bum filter. Dammit. Now I have to go through the hassle of finding my receipt and taking it back... when I have the time.
My voice is still trying to make an appearance, but remains raspy and squeaky.
I feel like a turd for the Brewer's game getting all f'ed up this Friday, but am trying my best to still make it work. They were special seats so it's all screwy now, but I do not want my two friends that were coming with to suffer because of some issues between Houston and I.
I have not been sleeping because I have too much on the brain, although the 20 minute run I got in last night helped. There is just something about the fresh, night air. I wish they did evening marathons. I would be all for that.
I am all over the place. I have too much on my plate right now. Meeting for work soon and then work this evening for the catering co.
Not to mention, I am still feeling like the worst person in the world. :(
More updates tomorrow.
Thanks for listening!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Pilsbury Dough Girl
Happy Monday. Or something like it.
My day started out wonderfully (check the sarcasm-o-meter here). I seem to be losing my voice to a mild case of laryngitis. Luckily, my co-workers are wonderful and have allowed me to do the paperwork portion of the job so that I can stay off the phones for the day. I still do not know what I have 'picked up', but it does not appear to be a cold. I slept all day yesterday except for when I quite literally rolled out of bed and met up with my parents at a small diner near my apartment. I strolled into the place still wearing exactly what I had been wearing/sleeping in all day (my fave Milw. Brewers sweats and my fave old navy fleece finished off with flip flops). I just did not feel well at all. Thankfully, my parents were more happy to see me than what my attire was.
To start my morning off I went to see a neurologist. Something I have put off for a good... oh... 4 years now?? I have had a slight tremor in my right wrist/hand for 5 years or maybe even more? But over the past few years it seems to be getting progressively worse. Now that there is also numbness taking over my left arm and hand and I have started working for a catering company, I figured it was time to stop procrastinating and get my numbed up self to the doc and figure out what is going on. I needed to rule out the 'importants' (i.e. Parkinson's Disease, Carpel tunnel, etc). Turns out those major concerns are no longer concerns. I have been cleared in regards to those issues, but there are still a lot of things that could be causing my tremors and numbness. Another 5 vials of blood were drawn (ugh... I almost passed out. No more blood draws puh-lease!) and an appt set up to have an MRI done on my brain, neck and spinal column. Can a girl get a break... EVER?
To top that off they took my weight today, which I was NOT mentally prepared for. I do not know why my body is changing so much, but I hate it. I hate how for years and years and years I fit into my clothes just fine and now my ass, thighs and waist seem to think they are too small and needed to step it up a notch. I am seriously concerned about having to buy an entire new summer wardrobe. Fun? No. Because it is one thing to buy a new wardrobe due to weight LOSS, but to buy a new wardrobe due to unexplained weight GAIN is something else. I do not have the financials for it to boot. I refuse to even try on my shorts that have been my staple for the last 7 summers of my life. I am downright terrified of the results. I feel like I should pick up drinking and bad eating habits again if I am only going to gain weight anyways! BLEH!!! I weigh almost (3 pounds away from) as much as I did my sophomore year in college... the most I ever weighed. It was then that I freaked out and made some major changes in my life and brought myself down to a satisfying weight where I had stayed for the past 11 years. So why not just do that again? Because I already am!! I do not know what else to change now! What?!... I hit 30 and my body feels the need to show it's age???! Ridiculous. I am not happy right now. Thanks doc.
Oh, self esteem, wherefore hast thou gone?
Aside from that I have another busy week ahead of me. I am tired. Really tired. Hope I can make it through another long week with my odd 'virus'. I thought I had asked off of catering for Saturday evening because that day is jam packed, but they have me scheduled. Dammit. Trying to see if I can, nicely, get out of it. But that's a long shot.
So I would like to end this daily blog with one of my favorite quotes that so perfectly fits my morning (except I do not go with this rule anymore. Summer is coming... I need to find a way to step it up and fit into those damn shorts....):
"Inside of me lives a skinny girl screaming to get out... but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies".
My day started out wonderfully (check the sarcasm-o-meter here). I seem to be losing my voice to a mild case of laryngitis. Luckily, my co-workers are wonderful and have allowed me to do the paperwork portion of the job so that I can stay off the phones for the day. I still do not know what I have 'picked up', but it does not appear to be a cold. I slept all day yesterday except for when I quite literally rolled out of bed and met up with my parents at a small diner near my apartment. I strolled into the place still wearing exactly what I had been wearing/sleeping in all day (my fave Milw. Brewers sweats and my fave old navy fleece finished off with flip flops). I just did not feel well at all. Thankfully, my parents were more happy to see me than what my attire was.
To start my morning off I went to see a neurologist. Something I have put off for a good... oh... 4 years now?? I have had a slight tremor in my right wrist/hand for 5 years or maybe even more? But over the past few years it seems to be getting progressively worse. Now that there is also numbness taking over my left arm and hand and I have started working for a catering company, I figured it was time to stop procrastinating and get my numbed up self to the doc and figure out what is going on. I needed to rule out the 'importants' (i.e. Parkinson's Disease, Carpel tunnel, etc). Turns out those major concerns are no longer concerns. I have been cleared in regards to those issues, but there are still a lot of things that could be causing my tremors and numbness. Another 5 vials of blood were drawn (ugh... I almost passed out. No more blood draws puh-lease!) and an appt set up to have an MRI done on my brain, neck and spinal column. Can a girl get a break... EVER?
To top that off they took my weight today, which I was NOT mentally prepared for. I do not know why my body is changing so much, but I hate it. I hate how for years and years and years I fit into my clothes just fine and now my ass, thighs and waist seem to think they are too small and needed to step it up a notch. I am seriously concerned about having to buy an entire new summer wardrobe. Fun? No. Because it is one thing to buy a new wardrobe due to weight LOSS, but to buy a new wardrobe due to unexplained weight GAIN is something else. I do not have the financials for it to boot. I refuse to even try on my shorts that have been my staple for the last 7 summers of my life. I am downright terrified of the results. I feel like I should pick up drinking and bad eating habits again if I am only going to gain weight anyways! BLEH!!! I weigh almost (3 pounds away from) as much as I did my sophomore year in college... the most I ever weighed. It was then that I freaked out and made some major changes in my life and brought myself down to a satisfying weight where I had stayed for the past 11 years. So why not just do that again? Because I already am!! I do not know what else to change now! What?!... I hit 30 and my body feels the need to show it's age???! Ridiculous. I am not happy right now. Thanks doc.
Oh, self esteem, wherefore hast thou gone?
Aside from that I have another busy week ahead of me. I am tired. Really tired. Hope I can make it through another long week with my odd 'virus'. I thought I had asked off of catering for Saturday evening because that day is jam packed, but they have me scheduled. Dammit. Trying to see if I can, nicely, get out of it. But that's a long shot.
So I would like to end this daily blog with one of my favorite quotes that so perfectly fits my morning (except I do not go with this rule anymore. Summer is coming... I need to find a way to step it up and fit into those damn shorts....):
"Inside of me lives a skinny girl screaming to get out... but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies".
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Torture Day
Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mom who has done so much for me. I love you so much and feel so blessed to still have you in my life.
But besides that, I hate Mother's Day. I hate it for many reasons. It's like Valentine's Day. It is a touchy day for those who have lost their mothers, those that are not close to their mothers, and those like me that wish they were a mother.
I have wanted to be a mother since I was 24. Here I am... going on 31 and motherhood nowhere in sight. I am so happy for those of my fantastic friends and family that have children, of whom I get to enjoy! But it is hard to want something so much and everyone else has it and is constantly being announced and thrown in my face. But that is just my own personal issue that I need to deal with. But it is hard. I want nothing more than to have children to love, to take care of, to teach new things to and to watch grow and learn. I know it is hard and I know all you mothers out there are thinking how it's not that glorious. But one day your children will be grown and you will be sooo happy to have gone through all the hardships for them. Whereas, I may never have that. And if that is the case then that is the case. That is God's plan for me. I just wish it could be easier and I simply did not want kids. I know I am young, I know there is still time for it to happen, but I also know that a woman only has so many chances at providing life and the older I get the more risks involved-more so for me than the child I would be carrying!
So overall, I hate Mother's Day. It is just too damn emotional for so many people. But regardless, we need to acknowledge all the mothers out there that have dedicated themselves to their children and have given up so much for them. Your work day never ends and that is something to be recognized and commended for!! I am blessed to have my mother and be close to her and I do not let that fact slip by. To be a mother myself would be amazing, but only time will tell if that will ever be.
As for other updates:
I seemed to be dealing with some sort of weird virus? Or allergies? I wake up every morning with a severe sore throat and then have to cough it out to clear my throat which can take up to a good hour or two in the morning. Real attractive. It is times like this that I am happy I am single because the frog stuck in my throat would be a major turn off to the man in my bed I am sure! My ears are itchy and my nose is kind of stuffy and sometimes runny and I sneeze a lot. It's hell whatever it is.
I am tired all the time. Obviously, working 55 hours a week plus trying to keep up with my social life and regular activities could be part of the problem too.
I went to buy some staples to try a gluten, wheat free diet for atleast a week to see if I don't feel better. Ten items and $60 later (ugh), I have some food to try out. Thus far, the wheat and gluten free waffles and pretzels were yummy as were the breakfast fruit bars. The bread is another issue. Apparently once you take certain ingredients out of bread it just becomes thick and dense. That may take some getting used to.
The past two days I worked for my catering group. One night was a dance off for charities. An instructor from certain dance studios in the area taught a member of a charity organization how to dance and the winner would receive the pot of money for their charity. I did not stay until the end so I am curious as to who won.
Last night was working at the Milwaukee County Zoo for a prom. Wow. My prom was not that cool. Almost every kid was on the dance floor! The floor was packed! It was fun to view the dresses. Some were downright awful, some were quite revealing, and some were awesome and unique. The only thing that sucked about last night was feeling so old seeing as I have been out of high school for 12 years!! And the other was wishing I had been cool in high school. Some of these girls were beautiful and had great bodies! I know, everyone says 'Yeah, great body for a 17 year old' but ... ummm... I did not look ANYTHING like that when I was 17. Not. Even. Close. My chunky butt with a bad dye job would have never been able to wear those kinds of dresses! Damn. If only my mom had taught me how to pluck my eyebrows, curl my hair, and run a mile. Oh well. I will just chalk it all up to being that 'not so great girl in high school' to 'one hot ass woman' now ;) Better late than never. See if any of those girls look like they are 24 when they are 30!! Booooo yah!
As for everything else. I am doing well, working too much for little pay, but happy to be blessed with two good jobs.
And then there is New York... can't wait... "Helllooo Lover" -Carrie Bradshaw.
But besides that, I hate Mother's Day. I hate it for many reasons. It's like Valentine's Day. It is a touchy day for those who have lost their mothers, those that are not close to their mothers, and those like me that wish they were a mother.
I have wanted to be a mother since I was 24. Here I am... going on 31 and motherhood nowhere in sight. I am so happy for those of my fantastic friends and family that have children, of whom I get to enjoy! But it is hard to want something so much and everyone else has it and is constantly being announced and thrown in my face. But that is just my own personal issue that I need to deal with. But it is hard. I want nothing more than to have children to love, to take care of, to teach new things to and to watch grow and learn. I know it is hard and I know all you mothers out there are thinking how it's not that glorious. But one day your children will be grown and you will be sooo happy to have gone through all the hardships for them. Whereas, I may never have that. And if that is the case then that is the case. That is God's plan for me. I just wish it could be easier and I simply did not want kids. I know I am young, I know there is still time for it to happen, but I also know that a woman only has so many chances at providing life and the older I get the more risks involved-more so for me than the child I would be carrying!
So overall, I hate Mother's Day. It is just too damn emotional for so many people. But regardless, we need to acknowledge all the mothers out there that have dedicated themselves to their children and have given up so much for them. Your work day never ends and that is something to be recognized and commended for!! I am blessed to have my mother and be close to her and I do not let that fact slip by. To be a mother myself would be amazing, but only time will tell if that will ever be.
As for other updates:
I seemed to be dealing with some sort of weird virus? Or allergies? I wake up every morning with a severe sore throat and then have to cough it out to clear my throat which can take up to a good hour or two in the morning. Real attractive. It is times like this that I am happy I am single because the frog stuck in my throat would be a major turn off to the man in my bed I am sure! My ears are itchy and my nose is kind of stuffy and sometimes runny and I sneeze a lot. It's hell whatever it is.
I am tired all the time. Obviously, working 55 hours a week plus trying to keep up with my social life and regular activities could be part of the problem too.
I went to buy some staples to try a gluten, wheat free diet for atleast a week to see if I don't feel better. Ten items and $60 later (ugh), I have some food to try out. Thus far, the wheat and gluten free waffles and pretzels were yummy as were the breakfast fruit bars. The bread is another issue. Apparently once you take certain ingredients out of bread it just becomes thick and dense. That may take some getting used to.
The past two days I worked for my catering group. One night was a dance off for charities. An instructor from certain dance studios in the area taught a member of a charity organization how to dance and the winner would receive the pot of money for their charity. I did not stay until the end so I am curious as to who won.
Last night was working at the Milwaukee County Zoo for a prom. Wow. My prom was not that cool. Almost every kid was on the dance floor! The floor was packed! It was fun to view the dresses. Some were downright awful, some were quite revealing, and some were awesome and unique. The only thing that sucked about last night was feeling so old seeing as I have been out of high school for 12 years!! And the other was wishing I had been cool in high school. Some of these girls were beautiful and had great bodies! I know, everyone says 'Yeah, great body for a 17 year old' but ... ummm... I did not look ANYTHING like that when I was 17. Not. Even. Close. My chunky butt with a bad dye job would have never been able to wear those kinds of dresses! Damn. If only my mom had taught me how to pluck my eyebrows, curl my hair, and run a mile. Oh well. I will just chalk it all up to being that 'not so great girl in high school' to 'one hot ass woman' now ;) Better late than never. See if any of those girls look like they are 24 when they are 30!! Booooo yah!
As for everything else. I am doing well, working too much for little pay, but happy to be blessed with two good jobs.
And then there is New York... can't wait... "Helllooo Lover" -Carrie Bradshaw.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Sx: Too Many to List Dx: Maybe You are Just Crazy. Or Not!
First of all, I would like to start this blog today with the exciting news that my ass is being swept away to New York City by Lawyer! Woot Woot! Turns out he offered a deal I could not (nor did I really want to) refuse and now I will be spending time in a great city with great company over Memorial Day weekend. I cannot wait! I am sure that all my blubbering and excitement over getting to actually stay in (versus drive through) one of the greatest cities is getting annoyingly overdone to Lawyer, but he handles my childish episodes quite well! (As if third date didn't already prove that) And this is just the warm up! Once I am on the plane he will need to tighten my seat belt before I start embarrassingly bouncing around the cabin. No joke.
Some more good news. A new hire that I am becoming good friends with at the new catering job thought that I was only 22. Her jaw almost hit the floor when she found out my actual age (30 as you read this). The funny thing is she is 24 and she still thought I was only 22. LOL! That is fantastic. Bless her often hung-over heart.
Oh, what else, Ahh yes. I got a lovely text from Basketball late last night. Have not heard from him in ... I do not even know how long! Seems someone was feeling 'lonely' shall we say? Too bad because I really thought he actually may have just been missing me. WRONG. I guess I forgot to take down my "For a guilt-free, no strings attached, good time call..." sign. Ugh. Men. What the hell is wrong with some of you?!
So now on to so more important news:
I think I have found a possible solution as to where a lot of my issues may be coming from (besides men I haven't heard from in so many months I cannot remember texting at 11:30p on a Thursday night looking for a booty call). This is a very big finding for me. I have had severe tremors in my right hand for quite a few years now and it has now progressed into my left hand which has also been experiencing some severe numbness. About 3 years ago I went through some very extensive treatment for GI issues. It was horrible. A full year of testing, poking and prodding and severe changes to my diet and I got a 'best guess' diagnosis of pelvic floor dysynergia. Look it up. I felt great after all the treatment, therapy and diet changes though, but recently a lot of my symptoms have come back! The psoriasis, the hair loss, the weight gain, the tremors, the GI issues, severe loss of energy, constant drowsiness, so on and so forth. I figured it was stress. That is what everyone always says right? It's stress. But I have always been a stress freak. This is not new. In fact, I feel less stressed lately than I normally do. So what gives?! I only take one daily medication, but have been on that for a few years now so it could not be that (and no it is not the birth control pill because everyone usually wants to jump on the 'why bc pills suck' bandwagon). So what could it be?!
Well, a few weeks back my sister had spoken to a doctor who suggested that a lot of the issues she was having could very likely be due to a wheat allergy. We have similar symptoms but mine are even worse yet! I have heard of this before. Issues with wheat and gluten, Celiac's disease (CD) and have even thought in the past that I may have it. I have never been tested for it, but I do know that when I put a halt to a lot of different foods I was eating, I felt great. But Celiac's disease? Really?? It was such a 'fad' thing to be diagnosed with it seemed. But upon my sister's request I did more research and wouldn't you know... one symptom that often gets overlooked by those with CD is peripheral neuropathy. The tremors, the numbness, the clumsiness, the lethargy are very common signs of a food allergy of some sort.
No. Shit.
So this finding could not have come at a better time considering I am seeing a neurologist on Monday because things have just physically gotten so bad for me. In the meantime, I am actually going to try and do more research and even start to limit my diet and be more strict to see if I actually do not, once again, feel much better!
So interesting, isn't it?
In other news, yesterday was my first full no-candy day. I was so good that I did not eat anything extra either. I did not try to fill it with some other form of sugar! No cookies, cake or ice cream. Nothing. But this is still in that stage where it has not truly hit me yet. I am scared for the crash!!
Happy Friday Everyone! I have a full day ahead of me. My usual 8.5 hour day at the medical office and then straight to my catering job to work until approx. 12:30am. The worst part? The hour drive there and the hour drive home. Praying I do not fall asleep behind the wheel!
The things we do for a couple of (albeit much needed) extra bucks.
Some more good news. A new hire that I am becoming good friends with at the new catering job thought that I was only 22. Her jaw almost hit the floor when she found out my actual age (30 as you read this). The funny thing is she is 24 and she still thought I was only 22. LOL! That is fantastic. Bless her often hung-over heart.
Oh, what else, Ahh yes. I got a lovely text from Basketball late last night. Have not heard from him in ... I do not even know how long! Seems someone was feeling 'lonely' shall we say? Too bad because I really thought he actually may have just been missing me. WRONG. I guess I forgot to take down my "For a guilt-free, no strings attached, good time call..." sign. Ugh. Men. What the hell is wrong with some of you?!
So now on to so more important news:
I think I have found a possible solution as to where a lot of my issues may be coming from (besides men I haven't heard from in so many months I cannot remember texting at 11:30p on a Thursday night looking for a booty call). This is a very big finding for me. I have had severe tremors in my right hand for quite a few years now and it has now progressed into my left hand which has also been experiencing some severe numbness. About 3 years ago I went through some very extensive treatment for GI issues. It was horrible. A full year of testing, poking and prodding and severe changes to my diet and I got a 'best guess' diagnosis of pelvic floor dysynergia. Look it up. I felt great after all the treatment, therapy and diet changes though, but recently a lot of my symptoms have come back! The psoriasis, the hair loss, the weight gain, the tremors, the GI issues, severe loss of energy, constant drowsiness, so on and so forth. I figured it was stress. That is what everyone always says right? It's stress. But I have always been a stress freak. This is not new. In fact, I feel less stressed lately than I normally do. So what gives?! I only take one daily medication, but have been on that for a few years now so it could not be that (and no it is not the birth control pill because everyone usually wants to jump on the 'why bc pills suck' bandwagon). So what could it be?!
Well, a few weeks back my sister had spoken to a doctor who suggested that a lot of the issues she was having could very likely be due to a wheat allergy. We have similar symptoms but mine are even worse yet! I have heard of this before. Issues with wheat and gluten, Celiac's disease (CD) and have even thought in the past that I may have it. I have never been tested for it, but I do know that when I put a halt to a lot of different foods I was eating, I felt great. But Celiac's disease? Really?? It was such a 'fad' thing to be diagnosed with it seemed. But upon my sister's request I did more research and wouldn't you know... one symptom that often gets overlooked by those with CD is peripheral neuropathy. The tremors, the numbness, the clumsiness, the lethargy are very common signs of a food allergy of some sort.
No. Shit.
So this finding could not have come at a better time considering I am seeing a neurologist on Monday because things have just physically gotten so bad for me. In the meantime, I am actually going to try and do more research and even start to limit my diet and be more strict to see if I actually do not, once again, feel much better!
So interesting, isn't it?
In other news, yesterday was my first full no-candy day. I was so good that I did not eat anything extra either. I did not try to fill it with some other form of sugar! No cookies, cake or ice cream. Nothing. But this is still in that stage where it has not truly hit me yet. I am scared for the crash!!
Happy Friday Everyone! I have a full day ahead of me. My usual 8.5 hour day at the medical office and then straight to my catering job to work until approx. 12:30am. The worst part? The hour drive there and the hour drive home. Praying I do not fall asleep behind the wheel!
The things we do for a couple of (albeit much needed) extra bucks.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Warning: Tap Water Can Cause Dehydration
I have come to the realization that since leaving the dental office (close to 11 months ago now!), that I have been experiencing severe dehydration.
It has gotten so bad that I have noticed there are some days that I do not use the restroom until 2 in the afternoon!! (And the last time being at 7am that morning when I woke up). But two days ago I realized just how bad it has gotten. I did not use the rest room until 4:30p for the second time that day (again the first being when I woke up). All day I went. This is very very bad.
So drink more water, T! is what I am hearing you say. But the problem is me and my snootiness about water.
I do not like just any water. It is like food to me. Some people will only eat certain foods prepared certain ways. Well, I will only drink water that comes from certain sources.
When I worked at the dental office, we had the convenience of a water cooler. That water cooler and I were great friends. Always cold. Always filtered. Always available. But now, since moving to a medical office downtown, I have found that I was a spoiled brat having had the pleasure of working with a water cooler for so many years. One would think that in a large office there would be a water cooler (although I can understand the cost of such a convenience) or at least a fridge. But no. My office has neither which leads me to my problem of dehydration.
When I was young I loved loved loved the taste of cold water from the faucet. I did not even need a glass. I just stuck my mouth under the faucet and it was the best thing in the world. Then I met my now-ex-husband. And he loved his bottled water. He never drank from the tap, he did not like soda or juice. He would drink a disgusting amount of bottled water (years, years later we found out he had a major thyroid issue) but anyways, my point is that it grew on me. That bottled water was so fresh and clean that I had a hard time going back to tap water. Over the years I could not even stomach the thought of tap water and even certain bottled water! I will not drink Dannon bottled water. Yuck.
Yes, that is how picky I have now become about my water. I will drink tap water filtered through a Brita pitcher or a pur sink attachment, but I will not drink it straight out of the tap 'unfiltered'. I will drink water from a water fountain at the gym, but would not do so directly from their sink. If I take a container to work from home filled with my Brita filtered water, it must be a certain kind of water canteen. It cannot be anything that smells like plastic in any way. I do like the stainless steel, but I will not drink straight from the lip of it (it gets a nasty metallic taste); it must have a certain type of attachment that has NO 'taste' to it what-so-ever. You would never believe how many canteens I have gone through. It is really sad trying to find that right one. And I know a lot of you are thinking "They never have taste and water all tastes the same" but that is not true! When I refill my ice cube trays at home it must be water from my Brita pitcher. People have filled my ice trays with tap water and I can tell immediately.
I tried once to drink water from the kitchen sink at work. I really tried but all I could see was this cloudy liquid in the bottle and I could not do it. I seriously sipped it and wanted to throw up. I do not want to litter with plastic water bottles, but yet I do not like to drink from the tap! So what do I do?! I love water but right now I only allow myself one bottle of water for the whole work day. This is so bad. I need a better solution!! I do have a canteen that I love and fill with my Brita filtered water, but I often times forget to grab it in my zombie state in the morning. I actually keep 24 packs of bottled water in my car so I can grab one whenever needed. This idea has worked great for winter, but now that summer is coming... I do not want to drink piss warm water. I like my water ice cold. Once it gets warm I hate it.
Working at my catering job I now fear that I won't be able to drink the water provided on tables anymore either (which I had been ok with, but I still think if I drink it with a lemon I will be ok). Although I obviously subconsciously knew that the water was straight from the faucet... after seeing them fill up the water pitchers from sink faucets, throw in some ice and serve it. It has taken on a new meaning for me now!
The other day someone called me a 'whack job' after reading my posts. In some ways I am a whack job, such as when I talk about being extremely picky about the water I drink, but over all I think I am just honest, open and contemplative. I cannot help that I do not like water from certain sources due to taste. Some people do not like salmon. We all have our preferences.
When I see people filling their water bottles from the sink or drinking from whatever container they have I oh-so-wish that was me so that I could get in my eight glasses a day without causing more harm to our already hurting environment.
I have some serious water bottle envy.
It has gotten so bad that I have noticed there are some days that I do not use the restroom until 2 in the afternoon!! (And the last time being at 7am that morning when I woke up). But two days ago I realized just how bad it has gotten. I did not use the rest room until 4:30p for the second time that day (again the first being when I woke up). All day I went. This is very very bad.
So drink more water, T! is what I am hearing you say. But the problem is me and my snootiness about water.
I do not like just any water. It is like food to me. Some people will only eat certain foods prepared certain ways. Well, I will only drink water that comes from certain sources.
When I worked at the dental office, we had the convenience of a water cooler. That water cooler and I were great friends. Always cold. Always filtered. Always available. But now, since moving to a medical office downtown, I have found that I was a spoiled brat having had the pleasure of working with a water cooler for so many years. One would think that in a large office there would be a water cooler (although I can understand the cost of such a convenience) or at least a fridge. But no. My office has neither which leads me to my problem of dehydration.
When I was young I loved loved loved the taste of cold water from the faucet. I did not even need a glass. I just stuck my mouth under the faucet and it was the best thing in the world. Then I met my now-ex-husband. And he loved his bottled water. He never drank from the tap, he did not like soda or juice. He would drink a disgusting amount of bottled water (years, years later we found out he had a major thyroid issue) but anyways, my point is that it grew on me. That bottled water was so fresh and clean that I had a hard time going back to tap water. Over the years I could not even stomach the thought of tap water and even certain bottled water! I will not drink Dannon bottled water. Yuck.
Yes, that is how picky I have now become about my water. I will drink tap water filtered through a Brita pitcher or a pur sink attachment, but I will not drink it straight out of the tap 'unfiltered'. I will drink water from a water fountain at the gym, but would not do so directly from their sink. If I take a container to work from home filled with my Brita filtered water, it must be a certain kind of water canteen. It cannot be anything that smells like plastic in any way. I do like the stainless steel, but I will not drink straight from the lip of it (it gets a nasty metallic taste); it must have a certain type of attachment that has NO 'taste' to it what-so-ever. You would never believe how many canteens I have gone through. It is really sad trying to find that right one. And I know a lot of you are thinking "They never have taste and water all tastes the same" but that is not true! When I refill my ice cube trays at home it must be water from my Brita pitcher. People have filled my ice trays with tap water and I can tell immediately.
I tried once to drink water from the kitchen sink at work. I really tried but all I could see was this cloudy liquid in the bottle and I could not do it. I seriously sipped it and wanted to throw up. I do not want to litter with plastic water bottles, but yet I do not like to drink from the tap! So what do I do?! I love water but right now I only allow myself one bottle of water for the whole work day. This is so bad. I need a better solution!! I do have a canteen that I love and fill with my Brita filtered water, but I often times forget to grab it in my zombie state in the morning. I actually keep 24 packs of bottled water in my car so I can grab one whenever needed. This idea has worked great for winter, but now that summer is coming... I do not want to drink piss warm water. I like my water ice cold. Once it gets warm I hate it.
Working at my catering job I now fear that I won't be able to drink the water provided on tables anymore either (which I had been ok with, but I still think if I drink it with a lemon I will be ok). Although I obviously subconsciously knew that the water was straight from the faucet... after seeing them fill up the water pitchers from sink faucets, throw in some ice and serve it. It has taken on a new meaning for me now!
The other day someone called me a 'whack job' after reading my posts. In some ways I am a whack job, such as when I talk about being extremely picky about the water I drink, but over all I think I am just honest, open and contemplative. I cannot help that I do not like water from certain sources due to taste. Some people do not like salmon. We all have our preferences.
When I see people filling their water bottles from the sink or drinking from whatever container they have I oh-so-wish that was me so that I could get in my eight glasses a day without causing more harm to our already hurting environment.
I have some serious water bottle envy.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
So Long, Candy, it's Time to Go
While having a quick visit and conversing with a friend last night, a commercial came on for the new McDonald's dipped ice cream cone. And I wanted it. I really really wanted that damn ice cream cone. So I made the suggestion that I should go and get two of said ice cream cones. And then my friend Houston, we will call him, crushed my hopes of having this much wanted ice cream cone.
Now I have always enjoyed ice cream, but can easily go a week or even a month without it. But Houston, he could eat it every day. Numerous times during the day. While talking with another of his friends a few months back while watching a show about morbidly obese people (I think that is how the story went?), he stated how it really is not that difficult to just give something up. To just not eat it. So he gave up his beloved ice cream. Therefore, me being an awesome friend, I did not go and get either one of us an ice cream cone. But my debate is this: 1. Houston is a guy and a guy can do that so much more easily than a woman with raging hormones that challenge and change on a daily basis! and 2. giving up one thing is not so bad, but giving up numerous things like those morbidly obese people have to do is so much harder.
Regardless, this got me thinking. Houston has given up ice cream for three months. Three Months! (He can eat it again June 1st). I cannot even go a week sometimes when giving something up! Who am I kidding... I already thought about doing this experiment this morning but then saw the two little miniature dark peanut butter cups on my desk and said 'screw it' and ate the little tempting bastards. So you can imagine how hard this will be! Not that it is not hard for Houston, but I still think it is easier for him because he is a guy, it is only one item not numerous items, and, needless to say, there is money involved in this deal. But I want to prove myself wrong. I want to use Houston as an example and try to also give up something that I love. But my reason for doing so is a different kind of reward. My reward will not be money, but it will be something better. My reward will be more energy, a smaller waist (I pray!), a possible change in my mood for the better (smart asses-once I past the worst of it!), and a release from a bad addiction.
Yup, for two months I am giving up my beloved candy. I love cookies, cakes, etc, etc, but candy is my go-to. Every day. I love it so much. I do not eat a lot of it on a daily basis, but I still eat it every day. I once, not purposely, gave up this horrible sugar and chocolatey addiction and lost a lot of weight, but more importantly, I felt great. My stomach did not hurt. I no longer had my headaches, I had so much energy because I was not having my daily sugar crashes. Excess sugar is bad as we all know, but these past few months I have taken to it like an old lost friend. They say it takes 28 days to stop a sugar addiction like I have, yet some say it takes 3 months, some say a year! Now some sugar is good for you, but I eat sugary sour patch kids probably every other day for goodness sake! Sugar. I believe it is the culprit of many things in my life. And even though I will try to justify a piece of dark chocolate that is good for your health, I will be forgoing that too because it is still filling that candy void that I need to conquer.
So I am holding myself accountable to all my readers. I will be crabby, irritated, and often times downright pissed off so beware of those blogs and give me a little bit of a break! (But not a piece of your kit kat bar). I WANT to do this for me. If Houston can go without ice cream then I can go without candy. I cannot guarantee I will not slip up with a piece of cake at a birthday party because to give it ALL up would be really freaking hard, but I am going to try hard as hell to also avoid cake, cookies, and ice cream during this time. Just go cold turkey. It's candy that is my most convenient go-to and biggest enemy.
Side note: I would like to thank C at work for just asking me if I had any chocolate on hand. Case in point: T is a candy whore. This is not good and needs to change!
I can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!
I wish I could just replace the candy with sex. Oh snap!
Wish me luck ;)
My first official day of candy free will begin tomorrow May 5, 2011 (because I already had my candy today) and will expire on July 5, 2011. Damn! Good thing I can still drink for the 3rd and 4th of July!
Now I have always enjoyed ice cream, but can easily go a week or even a month without it. But Houston, he could eat it every day. Numerous times during the day. While talking with another of his friends a few months back while watching a show about morbidly obese people (I think that is how the story went?), he stated how it really is not that difficult to just give something up. To just not eat it. So he gave up his beloved ice cream. Therefore, me being an awesome friend, I did not go and get either one of us an ice cream cone. But my debate is this: 1. Houston is a guy and a guy can do that so much more easily than a woman with raging hormones that challenge and change on a daily basis! and 2. giving up one thing is not so bad, but giving up numerous things like those morbidly obese people have to do is so much harder.
Regardless, this got me thinking. Houston has given up ice cream for three months. Three Months! (He can eat it again June 1st). I cannot even go a week sometimes when giving something up! Who am I kidding... I already thought about doing this experiment this morning but then saw the two little miniature dark peanut butter cups on my desk and said 'screw it' and ate the little tempting bastards. So you can imagine how hard this will be! Not that it is not hard for Houston, but I still think it is easier for him because he is a guy, it is only one item not numerous items, and, needless to say, there is money involved in this deal. But I want to prove myself wrong. I want to use Houston as an example and try to also give up something that I love. But my reason for doing so is a different kind of reward. My reward will not be money, but it will be something better. My reward will be more energy, a smaller waist (I pray!), a possible change in my mood for the better (smart asses-once I past the worst of it!), and a release from a bad addiction.
Yup, for two months I am giving up my beloved candy. I love cookies, cakes, etc, etc, but candy is my go-to. Every day. I love it so much. I do not eat a lot of it on a daily basis, but I still eat it every day. I once, not purposely, gave up this horrible sugar and chocolatey addiction and lost a lot of weight, but more importantly, I felt great. My stomach did not hurt. I no longer had my headaches, I had so much energy because I was not having my daily sugar crashes. Excess sugar is bad as we all know, but these past few months I have taken to it like an old lost friend. They say it takes 28 days to stop a sugar addiction like I have, yet some say it takes 3 months, some say a year! Now some sugar is good for you, but I eat sugary sour patch kids probably every other day for goodness sake! Sugar. I believe it is the culprit of many things in my life. And even though I will try to justify a piece of dark chocolate that is good for your health, I will be forgoing that too because it is still filling that candy void that I need to conquer.
So I am holding myself accountable to all my readers. I will be crabby, irritated, and often times downright pissed off so beware of those blogs and give me a little bit of a break! (But not a piece of your kit kat bar). I WANT to do this for me. If Houston can go without ice cream then I can go without candy. I cannot guarantee I will not slip up with a piece of cake at a birthday party because to give it ALL up would be really freaking hard, but I am going to try hard as hell to also avoid cake, cookies, and ice cream during this time. Just go cold turkey. It's candy that is my most convenient go-to and biggest enemy.
Side note: I would like to thank C at work for just asking me if I had any chocolate on hand. Case in point: T is a candy whore. This is not good and needs to change!
I can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!
I wish I could just replace the candy with sex. Oh snap!
Wish me luck ;)
My first official day of candy free will begin tomorrow May 5, 2011 (because I already had my candy today) and will expire on July 5, 2011. Damn! Good thing I can still drink for the 3rd and 4th of July!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
If I had a Million Dollars
I would :
10. Hire a nutritionist
9. Hire a maid to clean my shower, do my laundry, and vacuum my floor once a week
8. Buy a horse and the land behind my sister's house and make her take care of it
7. Quit my second job
6. Travel to Europe for a month or two... or three
5. Buy a home in Shorewood
4. Buy a Springer Spaniel so I could have a fuzzy running partner
3. Give a large sum of money to research cures for spinal cord injuries so I could see one of the most awesome people I know walk again
2. Give a large sum to the Church in hopes of persuading God to make me a happier person
1. Hire a beautiful whore with great legs and have her carry out TWPITW's biggest fear: Give him the gift of genital herpes.
10. Hire a nutritionist
9. Hire a maid to clean my shower, do my laundry, and vacuum my floor once a week
8. Buy a horse and the land behind my sister's house and make her take care of it
7. Quit my second job
6. Travel to Europe for a month or two... or three
5. Buy a home in Shorewood
4. Buy a Springer Spaniel so I could have a fuzzy running partner
3. Give a large sum of money to research cures for spinal cord injuries so I could see one of the most awesome people I know walk again
2. Give a large sum to the Church in hopes of persuading God to make me a happier person
1. Hire a beautiful whore with great legs and have her carry out TWPITW's biggest fear: Give him the gift of genital herpes.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Texting: Convenience or Cop-out?
So it is Monday morning and I would like to acknowledge the latest news and show my happiness to know that the bastard of all bastards that caused so much destruction and pain nearly 10 years ago to our great nation is finally dead!! Osama Bin Laden. I hope right now you are finally getting yours.
A HUGE thank you to the troops that have given up so much of their life for our country. You are so greatly appreciated. There are no true words to describe all that you have done for us. Thank you thank you thank you!!
Other than THAT my morning has started off shitty.
I worked all weekend, I did not sleep well last night and had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, McDonald's forgot to include my fruit and yogurt parfait this morning so I have to go without breakfast, and I am pissed as all get out in regards to The Worst Person in the World.
So since we are on the topic of bastards of all bastards:
I need to do some venting so BEWARE. I am very serious here. So skip over this blog if preferred; otherwise, MEN, listen and learn.
There are certain things that should never be said over a text: (To list a few...)
* A death announcement of a close loved one or friend
* "I am breaking up with you"
* Saying "I love you" for the first time
* I am sorry
Let's discuss this last one in regards to TWPITW. When TWPITW and I broke up it ended badly as you have already read. You also know this past weekend has consisted of some texts from TWPITW. In those texts was an "I am sorry on how things ended. I have no ill feelings towards you." At first, that apology was unacceptable, but there were things I told TWPITW that he could do to prove his sincerity. After all, he was apologizing after a substantial amount of time had passed, but I was willing to possibly accept and just let things be. However, I could not help that nagging suspicion that there must be a hidden agenda.
And... of course there was! I am not a mean person. I am a very good person. I am willing to forgive, but there needs to be some standards set in place to do so. First of all, when given the chance to apologize face to face, it should be done. This whole texting of "I am sorry I hurt you" is just a cowardly way of going about something that should, one would think, come off as SINCERE. You get no sincerity in a text. Am I wrong?
So since TWPITW had passed on going that extra mile to prove just how sorry he was I had a few questions for him. And lets admit it people that when someone f#cks up they cannot just say I am sorry and consider it done, especially when they really drug someone through the mud with their actions. Let's not forget that this was a guy who was in bed with yours truly and talking about a future, while telling another woman that he loved her. OUCH! Am I right?! So my questions were this and his answers were as follows:
1. Why did you text to say you were sorry so long after this has been over? We, at least I, had moved on with my life. Gotten over the horrible thing you did and just moved on. I never called you, texted you, emailed you, etc. I let you be and you should have respected me and done the same.
His response: I just felt bad about the way it all went down and I know you and L have been hanging out a lot lately and that just got me thinking about you. I did not want you to hate me if we ran across each other in the future. L and J think you are awesome and fun. And you are. So I feel bad.
So basically, you are not doing this out of the goodness of your heart. You just know we still have some friends in common that did not ditch me just because you suck and did some horrible thing to me. And you did not want me to ream you out if I ever saw you in public because you are such a sally. Our friends think I am awesome and now you are in second guess mode. You forget who is the adult here. And it is. not. you. I could see you in public and just walk the other way. I could see you at a party and ignore you, or if it really bothered me then I could get in my car and drive away. Life does not revolve around you, TWPITW. Sorry.
Ok... so question 2. So you, belatedly, say you are sorry. What do you want from me? You randomly send me a text and apologize for some horrible things you said and did and I am to ... what? Be happy about this? Thank you and say you are forgiven? Act like none of it hurt and left some permanent damage about how I view men who say things like "I want to show you that not all men are the same" so that I go out with them and trust them and then they go and do exactly what "all men do?" just as you have? I do not understand.
His response: "I don't know what I expected".
That's right. You did not think about anyone else. You did not think about the effect this would have on me. Someone who trusted you to be different, someone you let down, someone you did and said some horrible things to. You did not think about how this would affect me because Lord knows I could not have moved on yet could I have? Why not just waltz your ass back into my life and make me go through it all over again. For WHAT? So that YOU can feel some reprieve? Does this make you feel special? Does it make you feel important? Did your head expand another 1/4 inch knowing you could get under someone's skin like this? What kind of lying, deceiving, cocky, selfish, piece of shit bastard are you?! God help your children so that they do not turn out to be anything like you.
To all of this his finally response was:
"Sorry, T, I just wanted to apologize. I should not have bothered you."
Damn straight, TWPITW. Your apology is shit being as it is way past due and you are only doing it for selfish reasons. You know L is possibly going to be single now and you know that the two of us will be "trouble" out in public together because we are two very good looking, smart, successful, and funny women. You know you gave up something awesome for that 21 year old living abroad who is already in a committed relationship and now you are scared that someone will snag me up before you find out if plan A will for sure not work out. Your apology is worth even more shit considering the fact that you refused to take that one extra step, one time to drive to me to show me that you really did f#ck up and you want my forgiveness because you feel that bad about all this. Instead you would rather just keep me down and feeling like I am not worth a REAL apology (which I do not feel this time around but have in the past) and just send me another text basically saying "I take it all back. Sorry I bothered you with a very pathetic apology. Sorry I got you all riled up again".
There has only been one person in my life that I have truly hated. Now I have two. I hate hating people. I believe it messes with the body, mind and aura of a being, but sometimes people can wrong you so much that the easiest way to deal with it is hate them and just let them go. Hating them allows them to never enter into your life again. I have given every chance for forgiveness. I have offered up conversation and discussion. I have done all I could, but some people are too stubborn to just admit they are wrong and to take the necessary actions to amend their wrong doings. I was not asking to date again (no no no) but a sincere apology to show that even though men fuck up, they can truly feel bad about it.
Heaven help me, TWPITW, that if I ever see you again that my foot does not come flying at your groin so fast that all you know is that you are suddenly in immense pain. And if you are sitting down, you should probably stand because it will be your face feeling the blow otherwise. I could have been civil, but now I am just one pissed off woman!
For the gentlemen reading this, I would be more than willing to provide a name and picture of this man so that if you ever come across him you can give him a much earned thank you for being the topper on the cake that has made this woman completely unavailable.
Peace out. Happy Monday. Glad I got this all off my chest. Tomorrow will resume as normal.
A HUGE thank you to the troops that have given up so much of their life for our country. You are so greatly appreciated. There are no true words to describe all that you have done for us. Thank you thank you thank you!!
Other than THAT my morning has started off shitty.
I worked all weekend, I did not sleep well last night and had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, McDonald's forgot to include my fruit and yogurt parfait this morning so I have to go without breakfast, and I am pissed as all get out in regards to The Worst Person in the World.
So since we are on the topic of bastards of all bastards:
I need to do some venting so BEWARE. I am very serious here. So skip over this blog if preferred; otherwise, MEN, listen and learn.
There are certain things that should never be said over a text: (To list a few...)
* A death announcement of a close loved one or friend
* "I am breaking up with you"
* Saying "I love you" for the first time
* I am sorry
Let's discuss this last one in regards to TWPITW. When TWPITW and I broke up it ended badly as you have already read. You also know this past weekend has consisted of some texts from TWPITW. In those texts was an "I am sorry on how things ended. I have no ill feelings towards you." At first, that apology was unacceptable, but there were things I told TWPITW that he could do to prove his sincerity. After all, he was apologizing after a substantial amount of time had passed, but I was willing to possibly accept and just let things be. However, I could not help that nagging suspicion that there must be a hidden agenda.
And... of course there was! I am not a mean person. I am a very good person. I am willing to forgive, but there needs to be some standards set in place to do so. First of all, when given the chance to apologize face to face, it should be done. This whole texting of "I am sorry I hurt you" is just a cowardly way of going about something that should, one would think, come off as SINCERE. You get no sincerity in a text. Am I wrong?
So since TWPITW had passed on going that extra mile to prove just how sorry he was I had a few questions for him. And lets admit it people that when someone f#cks up they cannot just say I am sorry and consider it done, especially when they really drug someone through the mud with their actions. Let's not forget that this was a guy who was in bed with yours truly and talking about a future, while telling another woman that he loved her. OUCH! Am I right?! So my questions were this and his answers were as follows:
1. Why did you text to say you were sorry so long after this has been over? We, at least I, had moved on with my life. Gotten over the horrible thing you did and just moved on. I never called you, texted you, emailed you, etc. I let you be and you should have respected me and done the same.
His response: I just felt bad about the way it all went down and I know you and L have been hanging out a lot lately and that just got me thinking about you. I did not want you to hate me if we ran across each other in the future. L and J think you are awesome and fun. And you are. So I feel bad.
So basically, you are not doing this out of the goodness of your heart. You just know we still have some friends in common that did not ditch me just because you suck and did some horrible thing to me. And you did not want me to ream you out if I ever saw you in public because you are such a sally. Our friends think I am awesome and now you are in second guess mode. You forget who is the adult here. And it is. not. you. I could see you in public and just walk the other way. I could see you at a party and ignore you, or if it really bothered me then I could get in my car and drive away. Life does not revolve around you, TWPITW. Sorry.
Ok... so question 2. So you, belatedly, say you are sorry. What do you want from me? You randomly send me a text and apologize for some horrible things you said and did and I am to ... what? Be happy about this? Thank you and say you are forgiven? Act like none of it hurt and left some permanent damage about how I view men who say things like "I want to show you that not all men are the same" so that I go out with them and trust them and then they go and do exactly what "all men do?" just as you have? I do not understand.
His response: "I don't know what I expected".
That's right. You did not think about anyone else. You did not think about the effect this would have on me. Someone who trusted you to be different, someone you let down, someone you did and said some horrible things to. You did not think about how this would affect me because Lord knows I could not have moved on yet could I have? Why not just waltz your ass back into my life and make me go through it all over again. For WHAT? So that YOU can feel some reprieve? Does this make you feel special? Does it make you feel important? Did your head expand another 1/4 inch knowing you could get under someone's skin like this? What kind of lying, deceiving, cocky, selfish, piece of shit bastard are you?! God help your children so that they do not turn out to be anything like you.
To all of this his finally response was:
"Sorry, T, I just wanted to apologize. I should not have bothered you."
Damn straight, TWPITW. Your apology is shit being as it is way past due and you are only doing it for selfish reasons. You know L is possibly going to be single now and you know that the two of us will be "trouble" out in public together because we are two very good looking, smart, successful, and funny women. You know you gave up something awesome for that 21 year old living abroad who is already in a committed relationship and now you are scared that someone will snag me up before you find out if plan A will for sure not work out. Your apology is worth even more shit considering the fact that you refused to take that one extra step, one time to drive to me to show me that you really did f#ck up and you want my forgiveness because you feel that bad about all this. Instead you would rather just keep me down and feeling like I am not worth a REAL apology (which I do not feel this time around but have in the past) and just send me another text basically saying "I take it all back. Sorry I bothered you with a very pathetic apology. Sorry I got you all riled up again".
There has only been one person in my life that I have truly hated. Now I have two. I hate hating people. I believe it messes with the body, mind and aura of a being, but sometimes people can wrong you so much that the easiest way to deal with it is hate them and just let them go. Hating them allows them to never enter into your life again. I have given every chance for forgiveness. I have offered up conversation and discussion. I have done all I could, but some people are too stubborn to just admit they are wrong and to take the necessary actions to amend their wrong doings. I was not asking to date again (no no no) but a sincere apology to show that even though men fuck up, they can truly feel bad about it.
Heaven help me, TWPITW, that if I ever see you again that my foot does not come flying at your groin so fast that all you know is that you are suddenly in immense pain. And if you are sitting down, you should probably stand because it will be your face feeling the blow otherwise. I could have been civil, but now I am just one pissed off woman!
For the gentlemen reading this, I would be more than willing to provide a name and picture of this man so that if you ever come across him you can give him a much earned thank you for being the topper on the cake that has made this woman completely unavailable.
Peace out. Happy Monday. Glad I got this all off my chest. Tomorrow will resume as normal.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Coffee, Sir? No? ... Maybe you should reconsider.
You know when you were little and you went to the zoo and could get the animal wax molds? Do you remember what that smelled like? Well, that is currently the smell wafting through my apartment at the moment. Why? Well you see, I like to make my egg white omelets by mixing it all up, throwing it together, pouring it into a baggie and throwing it into a boiling pot of water. Easy breezy, no fuss, perfect every time.
The problem? I used too large of a bag and too small of a pot. Oops. Good thing I was standing there! Kitchen fire would equal epic FAIL!
Well, besides that little blip of a morning, I have my coffee brewed and am ready to blog!
Yesterday was an interesting and busy day! I started with sleeping in followed by laundry and a much needed once over on the apartment. Then it was time to go live for the first time at the new catering job!
I always have the best intentions, but just cannot seem to ever be on time. It feels like I was born without the part of the brain that was meant to help with how to properly manage your time. So there I am pleasantly going on with my day and then it hits me "I have 15 minutes to dry my hair, style it, put on my make-up, change into my uniform and learn to tie a tie". Crap.
I did manage to get out of the apartment only 15 minutes later than I had planned. Yes only. I finished my hair in the car and learned how to tie a Windsor knot thanks to youtube while on the road to my first event. I must say first time was the charm. The tie looked great and I made it in perfect time. Some slight speeding involved.
The event was beautiful. It was a fund raiser/silent auction of 350 guests to help support the high school. This school did not seem like it needed much "help" because it was AMAZING. Their gymnasium alone was truly magnificent. It was awesome walking around seeing everyone in their black tie attire. Some of the dresses that these women wore were gorgeous, but some not so much so. Regardless, the decorations, the lighting, the layout. Awesome.
It was weird to be on the 'other side of the fence'. I have always been the guest being served and now I was doing the serving. I really thought I would be more behind the scenes seeing as I was new, but they threw me right into the public view! My partner was outgoing and fun; however, he was not much of a trainer. I pretty much took care of our four tables on my own! I have never, ever, ever done this sort of thing before and here I was taking over with people under me to manage! Regardless, of all events I am glad this was my first. It was a very important event (the owner was trying to get into another 3 year contract catering for this event) so I got to see how a very formal event would run. But the best part was that we had two volunteers from the school per partnered team helping out. My two were adorable. I did not see the boy much, but the girl reminded me so much of Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls. Total sweetheart. So that meant less busy work for me (filling water glasses) and more focus on the operation and presentation. I believe I only saw my partner about 40% of the time, but I am a firm believer that a person learns better under pressure so as long as I had my little helpers to take care of the smaller concerns, I was free to focus and take my time!
Mishaps? Just one 'major' one that really was not all that bad. I do take some blame for this one, but then again, I was new and just learning! While lining up to get our meals for our tables (just like an assembly line, no talking, just go go go!) my partner asks me how many heads per table. Ummm... what??! I do not freaking know! Was I supposed to count? We should always be able to serve an entire table at once without going back to get more meals in between. So that kind of sucked. I knew that three of our four tables were full, but how many at a table? No clue. Well, I guessed and was right. Phew! The problem came when we accidentally served a table that was not ours. But the good news there was that it was my partner's mother's serving table so we were able to work it all out. Phew times two! It seems my partner is a bit of a trouble maker so we were not reprimanded. It was almost like this was to be expected ! I do not know if people seemed to think I knew what I was doing and was doing ok or if they just felt some sort of sympathy for the new girl starting off with the trouble-maker?? But either way, I received no complaints! Yeah me!
Overall, everyone seemed great. There was a particular group of younger girls that you could tell have yet to reach a level of proper maturity. I get a bad 'clicky' sort of vibe from them, but nothing I am too concerned about. No one ever likes the new girl, am I right?
The highlight of the night? The man at one of my tables that was so drunk that when I asked him if he would like coffee he responded with "Coffee?? No... yeah, yeah... no. Coffee??" Apparently his brain had completely stopped function to save brain cells. I would not want to be that man this morning. Pretty sure he will be receiving a proper tongue lashing from his very proper wife.
So things to know:
1. Find a starting point always at every table because I am too ADD to remember faces and whether or not I already asked this person if they wanted wine. Who's drinking? Me or them...?
2. Look at faces. More faces, less table activity. I hate that part of me that is so task focused sometimes and ADD that I forget that the people are the more important part of this. Luckily, I have my charm to sweetly smile and joke if I feel I have flubbed.
3. Watching is the best way to learn, but not when watching the trouble maker. Again, I was glad I had time to stand back and view everyone in the process because I was able to get a better feel of what needs to be done, when, and how.
4. Drink water. Lots of water. It's been a long time since I have had to stand on my feet for numerous hours at a time. I was having some crazy dizzy smells.
and 5. Do not drink 5 hour energy anymore. My hands were so shaky that I was scared to death of pouring red wine onto someone's fantastic evening attire. Purses and papers are everywhere. My already trembling hands do not need anymore help!
So that was it. Overall, I was very satisfied with my first 'day' on the job. This afternoon is a buffet event with a list of 34 guests. Time to learn how they roll at this type of event!
Did my evening end there? Heeeelllll no.
After work I was still hyped up and ready to go and knowing some girlfriends were painting the town red, I figured I would join. I had come prepared. It was uniform off and sexy little black dress and 4 inch heels on. Thankfully I parked far back in the parking lot and it was dark. Changing in the car/parking lot was not a first. Touch up the make-up, fluff and spray the hair, dab on some perfume and away I went.
I met up with my girls downtown at a dance club I have never been to. It was... interesting. Unfortunately I have found that being single for so long has caused me to become highly irritated with douchebags and men at bars, in general. I do not know when dancing became 'how close to her ass can I get', but some men were so aggressive that I found I almost could not even dance at all! It was like bump here, smack there, I am happy I made it out without a black eye! If I wanted to be this 'intimate' I would have just skipped to the chase. Dancers need not apply. I could stand about a whole 30 seconds of ass grinding before I blatantly told them that I was not their pillow so would they kindly back off. One guy said "It's ok. I understand you are shy". My response? "I am not shy. I am just turned off by your dry leg humping". (Cue Big get-the-hell-away-from-me-now Smile).
Is this considered being a bitch or simply sick of 'the game'? Either way. It is all fuc*ing irritating.
Thank you, but no thank you.
Is the night over? No of course not! Nothing is over until the fat lady sings! Ooooor the cop pulls you over.
Thaaaat's right. I failed to signal while exiting off the freeway and I did not come to a complete stop at the stop sign. Luckily I had not had much to drink and the officer knew I was only a block from home. The whole process took about 5 minutes and then it was home and bed. Phew times three!!!
Guess that is what happens when you go all day, meet up with the girlfriends at night, get sexually molested by guido's and receive text messages from The Worst Person in the World. Yup. Seems it is about that time where a Douchebag is feeling lonely and wondering if he screwed up. Worth talking about? Nope. That ship has sailed and by the end of the night (and early this morning) he got the message "Please leave me alone. No longer interested in your lies and deceit". Will I ever hear from him again? Probably not. Some situations are best laid to rest.
Why is it that everything must always be on the man's terms? Boo to that. It is on T's terms now and this girl is flying solo.
The problem? I used too large of a bag and too small of a pot. Oops. Good thing I was standing there! Kitchen fire would equal epic FAIL!
Well, besides that little blip of a morning, I have my coffee brewed and am ready to blog!
Yesterday was an interesting and busy day! I started with sleeping in followed by laundry and a much needed once over on the apartment. Then it was time to go live for the first time at the new catering job!
I always have the best intentions, but just cannot seem to ever be on time. It feels like I was born without the part of the brain that was meant to help with how to properly manage your time. So there I am pleasantly going on with my day and then it hits me "I have 15 minutes to dry my hair, style it, put on my make-up, change into my uniform and learn to tie a tie". Crap.
I did manage to get out of the apartment only 15 minutes later than I had planned. Yes only. I finished my hair in the car and learned how to tie a Windsor knot thanks to youtube while on the road to my first event. I must say first time was the charm. The tie looked great and I made it in perfect time. Some slight speeding involved.
The event was beautiful. It was a fund raiser/silent auction of 350 guests to help support the high school. This school did not seem like it needed much "help" because it was AMAZING. Their gymnasium alone was truly magnificent. It was awesome walking around seeing everyone in their black tie attire. Some of the dresses that these women wore were gorgeous, but some not so much so. Regardless, the decorations, the lighting, the layout. Awesome.
It was weird to be on the 'other side of the fence'. I have always been the guest being served and now I was doing the serving. I really thought I would be more behind the scenes seeing as I was new, but they threw me right into the public view! My partner was outgoing and fun; however, he was not much of a trainer. I pretty much took care of our four tables on my own! I have never, ever, ever done this sort of thing before and here I was taking over with people under me to manage! Regardless, of all events I am glad this was my first. It was a very important event (the owner was trying to get into another 3 year contract catering for this event) so I got to see how a very formal event would run. But the best part was that we had two volunteers from the school per partnered team helping out. My two were adorable. I did not see the boy much, but the girl reminded me so much of Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls. Total sweetheart. So that meant less busy work for me (filling water glasses) and more focus on the operation and presentation. I believe I only saw my partner about 40% of the time, but I am a firm believer that a person learns better under pressure so as long as I had my little helpers to take care of the smaller concerns, I was free to focus and take my time!
Mishaps? Just one 'major' one that really was not all that bad. I do take some blame for this one, but then again, I was new and just learning! While lining up to get our meals for our tables (just like an assembly line, no talking, just go go go!) my partner asks me how many heads per table. Ummm... what??! I do not freaking know! Was I supposed to count? We should always be able to serve an entire table at once without going back to get more meals in between. So that kind of sucked. I knew that three of our four tables were full, but how many at a table? No clue. Well, I guessed and was right. Phew! The problem came when we accidentally served a table that was not ours. But the good news there was that it was my partner's mother's serving table so we were able to work it all out. Phew times two! It seems my partner is a bit of a trouble maker so we were not reprimanded. It was almost like this was to be expected ! I do not know if people seemed to think I knew what I was doing and was doing ok or if they just felt some sort of sympathy for the new girl starting off with the trouble-maker?? But either way, I received no complaints! Yeah me!
Overall, everyone seemed great. There was a particular group of younger girls that you could tell have yet to reach a level of proper maturity. I get a bad 'clicky' sort of vibe from them, but nothing I am too concerned about. No one ever likes the new girl, am I right?
The highlight of the night? The man at one of my tables that was so drunk that when I asked him if he would like coffee he responded with "Coffee?? No... yeah, yeah... no. Coffee??" Apparently his brain had completely stopped function to save brain cells. I would not want to be that man this morning. Pretty sure he will be receiving a proper tongue lashing from his very proper wife.
So things to know:
1. Find a starting point always at every table because I am too ADD to remember faces and whether or not I already asked this person if they wanted wine. Who's drinking? Me or them...?
2. Look at faces. More faces, less table activity. I hate that part of me that is so task focused sometimes and ADD that I forget that the people are the more important part of this. Luckily, I have my charm to sweetly smile and joke if I feel I have flubbed.
3. Watching is the best way to learn, but not when watching the trouble maker. Again, I was glad I had time to stand back and view everyone in the process because I was able to get a better feel of what needs to be done, when, and how.
4. Drink water. Lots of water. It's been a long time since I have had to stand on my feet for numerous hours at a time. I was having some crazy dizzy smells.
and 5. Do not drink 5 hour energy anymore. My hands were so shaky that I was scared to death of pouring red wine onto someone's fantastic evening attire. Purses and papers are everywhere. My already trembling hands do not need anymore help!
So that was it. Overall, I was very satisfied with my first 'day' on the job. This afternoon is a buffet event with a list of 34 guests. Time to learn how they roll at this type of event!
Did my evening end there? Heeeelllll no.
After work I was still hyped up and ready to go and knowing some girlfriends were painting the town red, I figured I would join. I had come prepared. It was uniform off and sexy little black dress and 4 inch heels on. Thankfully I parked far back in the parking lot and it was dark. Changing in the car/parking lot was not a first. Touch up the make-up, fluff and spray the hair, dab on some perfume and away I went.
I met up with my girls downtown at a dance club I have never been to. It was... interesting. Unfortunately I have found that being single for so long has caused me to become highly irritated with douchebags and men at bars, in general. I do not know when dancing became 'how close to her ass can I get', but some men were so aggressive that I found I almost could not even dance at all! It was like bump here, smack there, I am happy I made it out without a black eye! If I wanted to be this 'intimate' I would have just skipped to the chase. Dancers need not apply. I could stand about a whole 30 seconds of ass grinding before I blatantly told them that I was not their pillow so would they kindly back off. One guy said "It's ok. I understand you are shy". My response? "I am not shy. I am just turned off by your dry leg humping". (Cue Big get-the-hell-away-from-me-now Smile).
Is this considered being a bitch or simply sick of 'the game'? Either way. It is all fuc*ing irritating.
Thank you, but no thank you.
Is the night over? No of course not! Nothing is over until the fat lady sings! Ooooor the cop pulls you over.
Thaaaat's right. I failed to signal while exiting off the freeway and I did not come to a complete stop at the stop sign. Luckily I had not had much to drink and the officer knew I was only a block from home. The whole process took about 5 minutes and then it was home and bed. Phew times three!!!
Guess that is what happens when you go all day, meet up with the girlfriends at night, get sexually molested by guido's and receive text messages from The Worst Person in the World. Yup. Seems it is about that time where a Douchebag is feeling lonely and wondering if he screwed up. Worth talking about? Nope. That ship has sailed and by the end of the night (and early this morning) he got the message "Please leave me alone. No longer interested in your lies and deceit". Will I ever hear from him again? Probably not. Some situations are best laid to rest.
Why is it that everything must always be on the man's terms? Boo to that. It is on T's terms now and this girl is flying solo.
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