Dating 101:

Considering the fact that I was with my First Love (as he will now be named) for the beginning part of my pubescent days and then my Ex-Husband (as he will now be named) for almost 11 years after and then BACK to First Love, I never really got to play the "Dating Game".  So after nearly 3 months of crying and feeling like downright junk, I was ready to get out of bed, shower, and walk through the door of my apartment to show the world how awesome I was and what they had been missing while I was living in the World of Coupledom.

You know you are getting older and out of touch with the dating world when:  1. You think that every good looking man is your age but come to find that most of them are close to 6 years younger than you, 2. You find that you have an extensive amount of courage and YOU are the one going up asking the cutie if he is 'available' or would like a drink (because you are sick of him staring at you across the bar and not coming over), and 3. Anything goes because for MOST of the good-looking single guys out there, the end result is simply trying to get you in bed. They are, after all, good-looking and single for a reason, right?

Yup I said it.  Gone are the days where the first date must be followed by a second and maybe by the third date there is the first kiss.  From what I have found, whether it be because I had never done the whole date after date scenerio or because being in my late 20's really WAS that much of a difference in world views or because I simply had a different mind set about what was to be expected, dating sucked and the whole 'not right for me' scenerio was just a b.s. excuse for "I cannot find all the non-losers".  You know where they were (and still are)? Working, staying in and saving money, studying and completely oblivious to their surrounding because they are "content" with where they are and what they are doing right now.  Oh... or already married or in a 'serious' relationship.  It seems that while I was off in la-la land trying to PLAN and force feed myself a perfect life with the wrong man... all the normal, better-match-for-me ones were being sucked up.  I honestly feel as though I am just patiently waiting for the wave of divorces to come through so that I can snatch up the 'Right One'.  I always WAS ahead of the game it seemed.

I apologize.  Am I sounding a little bitter? Well, there is a good reason for that... because I am!  But I do feel better having ranted and raved because in all reality, with the risk of being oh so cliche and corny, I do believe God has a plan and that things go the way they go for a reason.  But damnit if I do not get irritated that I have put in the work and my paycheck got lost in the mail while everyone seems to have received theirs ... along with an added bonus!

So back to dating:  I hate it.  I cannot say that there ever was a point that I truly enjoyed it or am CURRENTLY enjoying it.  I do not like the odd first meeting, the "who is going to make the first move", the "who is going to make the first phone call", the 'IS he going to call?", the "where should we go because I love seafood and he does not eat things that once had a head on it", the thinking of "I don't like you.. I don't like you... please don't try to kiss me... or ever call me again for that matter..."  The list goes on.  It's not fun and I feel fortunate that I was able to skip this as long as I have, but I also feel fortunate that I have been FORCED to do this because what I have learned is priceless.  There were times that things were so bad that all I could do was laugh my way through it all and thank them for the story they left me with to tell me friends about later.

Cue first dating experiences after Ex-Husband and First Love:

It all mainly started around the end of June 2009.  Feeling like schmack but showing my bright white smile and newly fake-baked tan skin, I cautiously walked into the hot summer sun and the scorcing flames of hell... err... dating.  Perhaps I should have been more cautious, or at the least forwarned!  Dating is BRU-TAL.  I always knew I had some naivety to me.  I have always been extremely caring and definitely overtrusting of people.  Why would someone lie just to get me to go on a date with them?  I am no Jessica Alba here.  I am nothing special.  These were just really nice guys that were doing the gentlemanly thing of sweet talking and showboating... right? ... RIGHT??

WRONG.  Lesson learned number 1: If they say things that are too good to be true... they ARE.  Guys are good.  Really good at their "job".  They see the things they know people most likely compliment you on and amp it up to make it the best thing someone has ever said to you.  Maybe they could see the innocent look in my 'most beautiful eyes they have ever seen'.  The innocence of "Hi. I am confident, ready to be social and make new friends".  Ok.. yes... "and go on a date too".  But I believe in their mind they visualized something else too.  Instead of seeing TRUST (which was how I saw it), they were seeing EASY.  So they bought me a drink, said nice confidence boosting things, treated me like I was the best thing they had come across in years, then followed it all up with some fancy schmancy date. But at the end of the night if they did not get what they felt they had came for, which was not humor mixed in with intellectual converstaion, then.... Buzzzzzz!  Game over.

And my naive, new to this dating thing self am left standing there thinking "WHAT the HELL just happened?!"  Ok. Yes.  To all of you outsiders it was so obvious wasn't it?  "You did not put out 'T' ".  Problem solved.  It was not you they wanted per se, it is what they mistakingly thought you had to offer.  EASY.  Oh...Silly me.

And thus, round and round I go.  Not wanting to believe that SO MANY MEN could be that horrible, but I have since found out repeatedly that that is simply the case.  For every decent man that did not work out for one reason or another.. there were 7 sneaky ones lurking in the dark ready to pounce at the first acknowledgement of their presence.