My Perfect Man

This is a question I get all too often.  Whether it be my mother asking me what I am looking for or my sister to see if I am being quick in choosing; whether it be my friends who are concerned that I am being too picky; or whether it be a man himself wondering why it is not him...

Do you really want to know?  All right I will give this a shot:


Tumultuous T's Perfect Man:

There are NINE things that TTPM must have:  No ifs, ands or buts about it.

1. A sense of humor.  Not sarcastic and dry, but upbeat and witty

2. A want for a family.  Loves his current family and wants to start one of his own

3. Faith.  In GOD-not just 'spiritual'

4. A job.  A good job, which means he makes a well enough income to support himself at least

5. A well proportioned face.  Let's be honest here shall we?  If I am going to look at this face, at this body, at this whole package of a man for the next umpteen years-I better like what I am seeing because if I don't want to touch... then I certainly don't want to buy

6. Balls-literally and figuratively.  Transvestites need not apply.  And if he doesn't have the balls to hash things out with others, ESPECIALLY me, then he needs to keep walking because if I meet another man that childishly hangs up the phone on me... I swear when I see him next his balls will be MINE

7. Honesty.  No one likes a liar.  If he lies... I WILL catch catch him and there WILL BE major hell to pay.  So he be honest and upfront with me so we can work through it ASAP!

8. LOYALTY.  If he wants to cheat, if he thinks about wanting to cheat, if settling down is not his 'thing', if he loves women and just doesn't feel the need to be with just ONE then he needs to do me a favor: lose my number

9.  Can satisfy me in the bedroom.  Now obviously I won't know this one right away, but once we get to that point in our relationship, because he had everything else to get him this far, if he can't do this then we will be over.  Fast


Now, other things TTPM would preferably have:

1.  Tall; as in 6 foot or above is ideal, but 5'10-5'11 is a possible.  Any smaller and I often feel I wouldn't be able to wear my heels.  And we all know-T loooooves her heels

2.  College education.  Hey, I worked damn hard for mine and I made it through so I would like to see someone who has made that same type of COMMITMENT

3.  No kids.  Now, we all know TWPITW had children and that was very acceptable to me.  But on a whole, I prefer no kids and no exes that will forever be around due to said kids

4.  In shape.  Now this can go a lot of ways.  Six packs are not needed nor are flat bellies even (because man would *I* be a hypocrite!).  As long as the weight is proportioned well on the body and the weight is fairly steady then we are good to go.  He has to be able to keep up with me on most activities because I am an active girl

5. Clean.  Both personal hygiene and personal space.  Doesn't need to shave every day, but must be well groomed and ALWAYS smelling good.  Now while cutting the lawn or working out... that is something else, but in general... clean teeth and body are a must.  As for personal space, I don't like clutter and to have crap all over the place (to me) means he can't organize his room, let alone his life.  So let's try and keep the amount of dirty socks on the floor and dirty dishes on the counter to a minimum, shall we?

6. Loves affection.  Doesn't mind PDA.  Wants to kiss me in the morning and again when he comes home because he hasn't seen me all day.  But won't get all bent out of shape because someone may have seen me pinch his butt while waiting in line at the Ferris wheel during State Fair


And Bonus Points goes to the man that can:

1. Cook. A man that can bake chicken or grill a steak is great, but if you can also steam veggies and make homemade potatoes, you are in major business

2. Can work on my car and fix the leaky sink faucet.  I grew up with handy men and would like one to call my own

3. Has a large pallette for food and drink.  I hate sensoring what I cook.  So if he eats sushi, likes spinach, is open to trying new, weird recipes and will enjoy a beer or, especially, a glass of wine.  He just found the yellow brick road to my heart


So there you have it. 

And on that note:  I have not found this man yet (obviously) and maybe I never will.  I have dated many that have come close and many that have not.  In all my dating I have decided that if the man does not fit ALL my must have criteria, then I am no longer wasting my time (or his) and 'sampling' in hopes that it will change. 

And to those hooking me up and saying you found the right guy for me: let's see pictures and get all the info AHEAD of time, ok?  It is doing NO ONE any good otherwise.

Dating will be put on hold until this man has been found.  Until then, I am exhausted from trying to mold and shape what I want to fit the men that come so close because in then end... one or both are left disappointed and unhappy.

Call me a bitch.  Everyone else does.  However, I prefer "an educated woman who knows what she wants".

Thank you.