The Original Four

I wish I had started this part of my blog as it was all going down. There are some dates I would have loved to tell detail by detail because they were just THAT "GOOD".  But since I do not have the time, nor the energy, to recap the past 2.5 years of dating hell, I will throw in a paragraph or two for your enjoyment to see just what I mean about the dating world I have come to know and experience:  (WARNING: Some things may get personal, r-rated, hilarious, and shocking!  If you do not want to know... DO NOT READ.  No actual names will be posted, but if one of these dates should ever end up reading this... you will know who you are!).

I almost do not know where to begin other than the beginning.  It is funny when I think back to what I call my Original Four when I entered back into the dating world.  I really did not think that I would eventually go through as many good, horrible, entertaining, and embarassing dates as I have; but as previously mentioned, there was almost always something to be learned from each date.  I often times would love to sit down and count out just how many dates I have been on, but on the other hand ... I really do not want to know.

The Original Four: The Original Four was a mesh of 4 good-looking men that were all very different and brand-new to me.  I had never met them before.  Three of the four were through someone I knew and one was a random chance meeting.  I met them and dated them all fairly close together and yes, at times, overlapping.  It all began in the Summer of 2009.

Side notes for this and future blogs: With those that I was truly interested in and had invested time into, it usually went down like this (not ALWAYS mind you.  There are ALWAYS exceptions.  Important to note this before my reputation gets thorougly soured!): First comes the charm; then the nice, impressive, fancy date; then the numerous mock dates of sitting at home drinking beer or wine and watching movies on some oversized television screen while getting to know more about each other; then (sorry mom and dad) the "hook up".  Lastly, as one can wisely guess, it all goes to the burning flames of hell after that and the true personality comes out.  I like to refer to it as the 'Douchebag' personality.

Here we go:

Time Warner:  This was a gorgeous, blue-eyed hottie that helped me out when First Love stood me up when I tried to cancel the internet service he had set up at MY apartment, but under HIS name.  It was a thoughtful gift, but since our relationship had turned sour I wanted to invest in some sort of Time Warner PACKAGED deal so I could get internet and cable to sit on my couch and properly mourn over the loss of our relationship.  So up to Time Warner I went with steam coming out of my ears that First Love had the guts to be such a jerk and not show up!  Begging for help to cancel the service that I did not know the account number or password for, I found a different kind of opportunity.  Lucky for me Time Warner was single and ready to mingle (thanks to my inquisitive question of "You aren't by chance seeing anyone are you??"  Cue batting eyelashes).  However, after the fancy dinner date and mock dates, I found that my beautiful Time Warner was not ready to settle down in any way shape or form.  And when it came time to start enjoying life together out in PUBLIC... I walked out the door and turned just in time to see it being swiftly shut in my face. Well, I learned two things here: 1. I had more courage then I ever thought to have even taken that bold step and asked him out and 2. I could get dates on my own and not just through friends of friends, so on and so forth. YEE-HAW!

Next was Basketball:  Wow.  Tall... really tall...dark, handsome, great smile, dimples, extremely smart and successful, outgoing, funny, hotttt, basketball player.  It had been a long time since I had 'crushed' on someone and this one got me.  I knew about him through my boss at work, but actually met up with him during Summerfest.  I was hooked.  This was it.  I found my next serious boyfriend.  No doubt.  Gonna happen. Cannot wait for him to meet my family.  Yes, I was OBSESSED.  Monkey wrench?  Oh yes.  He was a big wig working his way up, just out of a serious relationship and the last thing on his P90X focused brain was dating no matter who the hell I was, how hard I tried, or how long I patiently waited.  Not. Going. To. Happen. ... Damn.

At the same time, same summer event, I also met Bad Boy Skater:  Someone like him had never really been my type, but I did not feel that I should stick only to my usual 'type' (Tall, athletic, preppyish, funny, boyish face, nice nose, GREAT smile).  Now BBS had some of the preferred traits, such as: he had the boyish face, nice smile; but definitely on the shorter side and not prep/athletic in anyway.  But definitely nice to look at.  Well, let me tell you about THIS one and WHY I really should just stick to 'my type'.  I did not even notice him in the crowd of men gathered around my gorgeous mexican chica of a friend.  (I cannot take the girl anywhere that she does know half the crowd!).  So BBS came over to me and swooned the heck out of me.  Oh yes, I should have read Every Single Player Sign he threw at me, but give me a break!  Helllllooooo I was new to dating in the 2000's.  So I would not say I sucked it up like a sponge, but it definitely seeped in.  Well, let's just say I learned a lot from BBS... but not necessarily in the best sense of the word.  I needed that though, I needed some sort of warning about players, like him, so I cannot be too upset about how things went down.  We had a 'date' where we met at a random bar.  (Should have known that if he was not even going to fancy me with dinner this was going to go downhill REAL quick).  Had a nice chat, learned a few things and set up another 'date'... at another bar.  Fast forward to Scene 12, Date 2:  We met at one of the most meat-market of bars out there (I can feel the head shakes, but come on!  I was trying to be open to new things and have a good time and not be such a snobby bitch!).  Here we both proceeded to get quite tipsy... ok I was flat out piss drunk.  We managed to go back to his place because it was close and there was no way in hell I was driving home in this condition.  And THAT is how I had my first and only one night stand.  Lesson learned number 2: If he talks like a player, takes you to some shady bars and calls them dates, and insists you come over because he kept buying you rounds and now you are too drunk to drive home... do NOT be surprised when you later learn his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his child and receive a text, while you are on vacation with your family in Florida, saying "I found someone way better than you and am super happy".  I had it coming.  Lucky for me it was nothing off my back and I was happy to be done with that whooooole situation.  But I learned a LOT of important things through BBS; such as: how to spot a player and why safe sex is a must!  So my thanks to you Douchebag!

Lastly, was Eight and Nine: Eight and Nine was a TOTAL gentleman.  Looks, brains, formal family, you name it.  So, T, what went wrong?  He just simply was not my type.  Humor is a big.. big big big big thing for me.  And Eight and Nine (who earned his nickname from some dental work he had done and my oh-so-subtle Chica friend called him out on it) simply could not keep up with my crazy sense of humor.  Did he make me laugh?  Oh sure, but was it the kind of hysterical laugh that I used to get from First Love and now knew I simply could not live without?  Sadly, no.  And then there was the fact that I simply felt I could possibly walk all over him without him blinking so much as an eye.  No good from my stand point.  I love a good fight.  And if I do not get one every now and then, I admit I will find a way to get one.  "Hi.  My name is T and I like to pick fights".  It's good for venting.  Besides, who doesn't like the 'making up' part!  (Be honest now!)  And perhaps he just downright scared me.  Inside I was feeling the whole "he is probably ready for something really serious and I am just starting back out in the dating world and don't think I am ready yet!" So I said my sad (hope I do not regret this) good-bye to Eight and Nine.  Did not feel quite so bad when later I found out he was actually going on dates with another gal of whom subsequently showed up later at the wedding both he and I were attending as his after-dinner mint... errr... date.